Dreaming of another day
can’t stop myself today
cold and now on the floor
can’t breathe or move no more
chained to the end of time
my life has never been mine
dreaming of another out
I don’t want this life right now
I’m just a body here
placeholder best that’s near
dreaming of another place
try to scare me save some face
I just want to die with grace
grieving from this cross I bare
thankful that I’ve got dreams here

Think I’m

Think I’m crying cause I miss you
think I’m going half insane
missing the hell you brought me
missing all that pain
I keep screaming darling
I keep asking please
think that I’m going crazy
missing all the tears I bleed
then it all gets clearer
while I look through the smoke
I don’t miss all the pain
I miss the ending of the joke
the part where we’re all laughing
acting like a family
think I’m going crazy
missing all that abuse
then when the smoke gets thick
I know I know the truth
think that I’m moving faster
moving far from you
think that I’m making progress
think it’s another breakthrough

Feel me

Never forget me
never move on
I’ll keep on writing
the same old damn song
singing of life like I’m moving forward
got you on my mind
the crazy getting bolder
feel me again
when you’re touching her skin
when you got babies
I hope you remember
the way that I tasted back in December
got you still dreaming I hope that it’s me
never forget the words you didn’t mean
I’ll always love you
though I claim that I don’t
I’ll always want you with my hands on your throat


Blended my sugars
blended my colors
I go up high
destructing others
watching them dance
move like good pawns
I got the chessboard
playing along
blended my sugars
put coffee in cream
I got the eyes
that glitter and lean
holding up walls
painted all red
watching the breakdowns
feeling the meds
I got the troubles
watching them play
I don’t give no fucks
watching the pain
little good robots
dancing on time
I got the colors
blended just right

The long game

I want out
but the screams mean nothing
keeps people thinking
your brain is wired funny
I want the walls to all collapse
but it’s just a judgment lapse
it’s everything
you never should be into
explorers lie in graves
they never meant to
screams mean nothing in the bedroom
sleep is just another way to pray
when nightmares bring the dreams you crave
anything is better than mundane
the luxury is priced higher than the pay
doesn’t give it back it’s just decay
safety is a trap
a very long game


I sometimes imagine
what it might be like
being you
the downward spiral
the death of joy
the bitterness of the slaves employed
kicking puppies
spreading lies
I sometimes imagine this life
the karma and pain
the trauma you make
slitting the throats of rabbits all day
killing the flowers
shit in the garden
the hate that you breathe out
I can’t really fathom
young people please
don’t become this
negative energy
it’s like drinking piss

It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t really matter
at least I guess to me
we don’t really need to discuss it
guess it didn’t mean a thing
frustrated and lonely
but never say a word
once it escapes lips
it always goes unheard
we don’t really need to discuss it
don’t need to see eye to eye
at least it’s done and over with
not something lingering on tonight
something that I can’t forget
or even try to hide
at least it doesn’t matter
as the silence takes my pride

Closed eyes

I like the deep midnight
closing eyes till I cry
pending I can see the sky
as if I’m there tonight
don’t know much at all
thought it would all but fall
hoping since much younger days
wishing that I had my way
out in the open world
big dreams such little curls
everything is just so bright
wishing for that deep midnight

Truth hurts

It hurt your feelings
but does it mean it isn’t true?
Everytime you’re reminded
have to deal with the true image of you
does it hurt to know that you are you
and that that statement
though it hurts
is undeniably the truth?
It hurt your feelings
but does that make it wrong?
You say you don’t care
but then you cry
is it so wrong to just live your life?
It hurt you so it made it wrong
you don’t care but you cry on
it’s the truth and that’s a fact
it isn’t wrong don’t turn back
if you don’t care look it in the face
the truth to not caring
is knowing your place