Living clean

Living quietly
and draining all my light
I am a thing to most
a product-overgrown
but this heart shall
move on
yes it will survive
living quietly
doing the right things
it gets you titled weak
but they do not know me.

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Let me show you

Let me show you how it’s done
sit down quick we have begun
I don’t lecture I merely teach
preach the right way-you must believe
I won’t break down-not again.
You should prepare to read my lips
I am the one that you should dread.
Let me show you how to live
you will reap what you give.
Pretend to be a saint
but hold no truth
you will suffer, you will lose.

We want it all

Tragedy is not enough
now they want your flesh
and stuff-
everything
you’ve ever worked for
it’s the price of your cure
so
you’ll bleed and we’ll secure
everything
you’ve ever yearned.
Tragedy is not enough.

Thicker

Harden me
harden me
make it hard to sleep
too dark to dream
every little part of me
a song to scream
another testimony
of this life I lead.
Harden me
break my bones and teeth
teach me what I need
to breathe and drink
the poison owed to me.

Tobacco and wine

I’ve got myself a new vice,

feels like fire and ice.

Bubbling and fade, misted smoke overrated.

I’ve got myself a new dream

made with lots of whipped cream

troubled and free, a triple timed Identity.

I’ve got myself a new vice

its like liquor pure nice.

A cigar in my hand and another seedy plan

oh I’m free now

breaking out the mold, how?

Tripping off the bridge and flowing right down.

I’ve got myself a new spine

rippled down and divine

a light that’s over my mind

and I’m flying high.

I’ve got myself

I’ve got myself

I’ve got my cigar in hand

and I’m thinking mad

like a hatter with a knife

I’m dreaming in tides

feeling moons pull so right.

I’ve got myself a dying wish

to make myself a fish

swimming in the sky, light drifted so fine.

And here I am vice in hand music in my head

and I’m off to take a stand.

Not a simple butterfly my life is lived

in crushing hides, a moth to feed off light and bliss

like a sand man kissing off eye lids.

Drifting down the flame and gore I’m signing out

finding how.

Like a phoenix with a pipe so high

lost up in water filled skies breathing clouds left and right.

I’ve got a new vice, a killing stick by design.  

I’ve got a new vice and I’m kicking now

fully alive.

(October 20 2012)

When the world ends.

And there was a world of possibility in this hell she lived, in this abyss of flesh and walls.

Dancing above the discarded waste, she swayed, she swayed to the freedom of foul smelling air.

Animal, beast, desperate wretch, lips painted with blood still fresh. The thirst thrust upon her

through yearning, longing, blasphemous desires. Whore caged and tortured, deranged and medicated.

Forgotten in the wreckage of days material long gone and spent.

Upon the scorched decay stood still. Savage.

The orange light of the dying sun shone clear over her ever changing flesh. Rebirth burnt its last remains.

True form and beauty let loose in reality of the feral nature near destroyed.

Natural violence through passion and flesh. Fire that courses like wind through

veins boiling the blood that thickens and feigns.

And there she stood, the only living soul, chest beating deeply, heart left to moan.

Eyes miraculous, glowing, wet with dew. As the beast is set free.

No bars, no walls. Free in the death, the burnt remains of suffocation, derogation, manipulation of the senses.

Dancing in the waste burning outward to deface the body once captured, once object-formed and standard.

Swayed she sways to the explosion of veins, to the remarkable chains, setting flesh to flame.

Cured of restriction ash falls from the skies once a danger like acid, like pills to the mind.

She dances in grace, in full form, and lace, she screams to the stars her lungs fit to burst.

Exploding like a match, heart swells with passion.

The animal, the creature, the truth and its master.

(September 14 2012)

Shepard

I have lived a thousand lives
none of which were mine
I have shepherd many flocks
and been left by roadside
I have watched them come
and I have watched them go
speaking as they got the lessons
but never do they know.
I have lived a thousand lives
none of which were mine
guiding those who might have grown
if they had thought to thrive
but I know only of their choices
when they chose to go
I have lived a thousand lives
but never have I known
the kindness of mine own self
the emptiness I’ve sown.

 

Ode to bisexuals

Ode to bisexuals
who are never harmed
by stereotypes
or jokes taken too far.
To the ones
who don’t notice the hate
in your stare
for not noticing
the disdain in the air.
Ode to bisexuals
the picky and proud
to the ones who play stereotypes
and the ones who aren’t bound.
Ode to bisexuals
who don’t get harassed
though what you’ve been through
should be defined as that.
Ode to bisexuals
the erased and abused
to all of those who
have been beaten and used.
To the ones the community
just up and forgot
unless they remember to fling
hate at our lot.
To the ones who have loved, lived
and have thrived.
To the ones who
didn’t make it out alive.
Ode to bisexuals
who believe in themselves
no matter what the rest say
you know you’re valid as well
never forget that your stories matter.
Ode to bisexuals
and always remember:
you aren’t gay enough-
you don’t even have to try,
no passing privilege-
you are just bi, bi, bi.