Like you use to

I’ve been waiting here for you
don’t know who else to belong to
do I love you yes I do
I’ve been waiting days for you
waiting for you to walk in the door
sing to me darling sing once more
keep me on pins needles and the edge
I’ve been waiting since you’ve been dead
to dream of a moment we’re back in arms
hugging to death remembering charms
I’ve been waiting here so long
life gets tired it keeps moving on
do I love you yes I do
sing to me darling just like you use to

Dreaming

Dreaming of another day
can’t stop myself today
cold and now on the floor
can’t breathe or move no more
chained to the end of time
my life has never been mine
dreaming of another out
I don’t want this life right now
I’m just a body here
placeholder best that’s near
dreaming of another place
try to scare me save some face
I just want to die with grace
grieving from this cross I bare
thankful that I’ve got dreams here

Passing fancy

I don’t think I’ve got the time
crying tears til I’m dry
drained of everything I feel
questioning the cost of real
I don’t think I’ve got the power
can’t keep this body moving
I’m running all but empty
can’t keep these lips from chewing
if it mattered if I cared
bite the darkness never fear
lost in what was never near
the passing fancy
the pain unveiled
I don’t think I’ve got the time
lost for now the grief I find
ever after never now
paid for with the passing rhyme

Done with it

Thought I was done with it
like I could breathe again
but all at once it’s gone
can’t get caught up in the tears
got to keep running
don’t remember dear
it’s just another nightmare
just another burn
keep on moving forward
you know you’ll never learn
read the book again
but never know the plot
just keeping yourself busy
idle hands cut off
thought that I was done with it
thought that it was over
but here I am again
crying into my own shoulder
as if I had been freed
just another burden
another kind of grief

Bitter truth

And now I come to the sad truth
life goes on and we renew
we find new joy
we find new love
some days it feels like
you aren’t gone
and now I see it clear as day
the pain in life still remains
beautiful and ever bitter
the sourness is something sicker
I find happiness again and again
and then I cry and mourn the end

old disappointment

It’s the same old disappointment
again with a grave
another goodbye to a faraway face
someone I loved dear
someone I knew
it’d been a minute
more years than were due
I knew when we spoke last
deep in my bones
that’s the last time
I’d be hearing your voice
had tried to go see you
but life got in the way
though that’s just the polite way to say
it’s the same disappointment
again with a grave
someone said something
then they went away
I knew they’d all fail us
so I called you that night
cried when you heard me
told you I was alright
nobody cared much
not for my time
I’d say I’m sorry I failed
but I know I tried
it’s the same disappointment
but that’s how it goes
another goodbye to a faraway face
maybe they’ll tell me
where the funeral will take place

Again

Once again we’re here
back to where we were
maybe I’m wrong
I hope I am
hope I’m seeing wrong again
back and then it all goes black
drunk on what never comes back
a memory of what once was
a terrible tale of truth undone
once again we’re here
back to where it all began
death is such a familiar friend
when everything goes black again

Forgotten call

Don’t call me family
I don’t need the trust
don’t need the trouble
that comes with us
don’t call me ever
not anymore
I don’t need to wind up
back on the floor
don’t need the trouble
don’t want the pain
don’t call me family
I’ve changed my name
moved on from forgotten
from mourning the rain
don’t call me now
not after you forgot
to let me back in
before everything’s lost
you never did call me
or send me a text
when he had died
I knew by pain in the chest

Drink runs dry

We wait to drink the blood
wait for peace to run
for drink to give us dry
for weeping eyes to cry
we wait and run to it
the glass that fills our lips
we watch and mourn secure
empty like the words
and is it just the bitter
running over thicker
we wait to drink the blood
this problem comes undone
for grace and favor feel
the taste it is surreal
the blood that quenched the thirst
the drunkard tells it first
we wait for dead to feed
that offer us their drink
we suck it down with ease
but forget the one we grieve

Means more to me

I have my memories
nothing else means much to me
I didn’t hold on to your hand
but I remember well that we
enjoyed each other’s company
never really understood
what the other said
but I have memories
that tell me I knew well
nothing else means much to me
except where I have been
memories of what we have done
before the bitter end