In my skin

I’ve been a lot of things
a lot of it ain’t good
thought I knew so much
but I really misunderstood
I strayed away from self
walked right into hell
let the devil take my hand
thought I was better than
been a bitch
and pretty fucking selfish
I’ve been a lot of things
been pretty fucking desperate
crawling on the walls
been begging for attention
I’ve embarrassed myself a lot
more than I’d like to admit
been on the wrong side of right
and said I’m okay with it
I’ve been a lot of things
but now I just wanna grow
move on from all that evil
like the glory in me show
remember that I love truth
and want to exemplify the good
I’ve been a lot of things
I’ll be a lot more
but this time I’m changing
changing that’s for sure
move like light through water
let God have His way
I’ve been a lot of things
I know I’ll never be a saint
but I can be much better now
now that I can admit
I wasn’t ever really the best person
I was just growing in my skin

Old blood

Rivers flowing thick with blood
the oceans once no longer in love
as death it burns never undone
the bleeding rivers run thick and flood
pouring rain oh so slick
the oceans dead no more are the fish
the world becomes so dark decayed
death a mistress no longer swayed
soothing souls no longer in love
the rivers run thick with the old blood

The world is on fire

The world is on fire
we do not really learn
we set it aflame
just to watch it burn
we dance on the ashes
bathe in the soot
when our lungs are scared
it’s too late to look
we are all blind
all blind willingly
the world is on fire
not sure what we see
the flames are if truth
the world won’t get better
as we dance in the ashes
all bathing together

Walls

You say too much but not at all
the silence here is thicker than walls
it could keep a house so warm inside
wordless evenings damning rhymes
everything you never say
speak about our lives decay
nothing ever gets to good
the words don’t know what they’re worth
standing in the silent rain
watching this house build and fade
keeps you warm and rather dry
when the roof leaks the tears are mine
pouring words flooding rhymes
you say too much but not at all
the walls you built are rather nice
though the floor is soaking through
words like rain come seeping mute
sleeping without holding hands
these walls are still so rather grand

I need this

I need this to be real
to validate how I feel
to keep me in the right
to know I’ve lost no sight
I need this nightmare to bleed
bleed into reality
to be right in front of me
I need this to be real
I need to know it’s right to feel
to see oppression and pain
even on a good bright day
to be miserable because I know
know the world is letting go
I need this to be real
need to validate how I feel
to know that I am right
even though my truth is a lie
I need this to be truth
no matter how obtuse
I need it to be true
I need to know I’m better than you
that I am right and know much better
that this reality is tethered
to the nightmares I need to be real
even if it’s painful wounds can’t heal
I need this to be real
for me
doesn’t mean that I can’t see
only that I am right believe
I need this to be real
I need this to have happened
I need to know I’m right
that indeed I’m fighting the good fight

about me

Let’s talk about me
let’s talk about all I’m gonna be
let’s talk about my favorite subject
let’s get to know me
I wanna be
everything that I can be
oh they like it that’s the new me
yes I’m a queen
I rock that black lipstick and sing
oh best believe I’m everything I claim to be
oh it’s all me
I’m every woman yes indeed
I like to play I like to scream
I’ll bend my back I’m pure naughty
a princess and a boss that’s me
I’ll pay the bills and buy the house
won’t wash the dishes my brands out
I’ll play like boys and think like men
I don’t know where this gonna end
oh I’m on top
let’s talk about me
let’s talk about my duality
I am a queen
a girl a woman and the means
I am all things
I love that metal and that pop
I am so much
so many things I have forgot
let’s talk about me
my favorite subject best believe
I’ll change everything
just so you think I’m cool baby
it’s all a game
let’s talk about me
who am I supposed to be
because I don’t know
don’t remember my last show
it’s something different
but all the same it’s what you want
let’s talk about me
let’s talk about all the things I love

Failing me

Falling, falling, falling
my dreams have died again
called to the forefront
I’m reliving in old skin
forgotten what it means
to be alive and then
falling, falling, falling down
I’ve drowned in tears
and now found out
that I have died once again
my dreams are gone
my breath is weak
falling, falling, falling me

Now looks like hell

Breaking free of suffering
the price of living luxury
safety comes at cost you see
comes with a price
and burns your dreams
breaking free of suffering
cost more than you think it means
cost you all the living things
feeling experience how you breathe
you won’t hurt but never live
never dream just drink the punch
breathing comes but not to lungs
you just live inside a shell
the world once known
now looks like hell

Water is the sun

I lay beneath the water
I fall right back to sleep
I dream of what’s to come
like moonlight bathing me
tomorrow never ceases
to be right behind the door
I lay beneath the water
my heart is wanting more
I fall right back to sleep
dream of what’s to come
moonlight as my keeper
as water is the sun.