Screaming and dreaming

Screaming and dreaming
that this will all now end
the river of blood
that it has been pretend
that every pain and cut
that we have suffered
is just another nightmare
existing under covers
screaming and dreaming
of something than the other
every bit of malcontent
the dreams of cowards
years we spent
and now it ends with this
screaming in the decadence

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I need this

I need this to be real
to validate how I feel
to keep me in the right
to know I’ve lost no sight
I need this nightmare to bleed
bleed into reality
to be right in front of me
I need this to be real
I need to know it’s right to feel
to see oppression and pain
even on a good bright day
to be miserable because I know
know the world is letting go
I need this to be real
need to validate how I feel
to know that I am right
even though my truth is a lie
I need this to be truth
no matter how obtuse
I need it to be true
I need to know I’m better than you
that I am right and know much better
that this reality is tethered
to the nightmares I need to be real
even if it’s painful wounds can’t heal
I need this to be real
for me
doesn’t mean that I can’t see
only that I am right believe
I need this to be real
I need this to have happened
I need to know I’m right
that indeed I’m fighting the good fight

Nightmares

Nightmares live inside of me
cannot silence darkest screams
cannot live outside the dream
reflections of unwashed memories
nightmares live in veins and breath
cannot die I live within
flesh that burns away at night
vulnerable to madmen sight
nightmares live inside of me
if I let them die I’ll have relief
but then the nightmares gain something
a truth outside the flesh I bleed
now they’re out no more looking in
the nightmares starts when healing begins

This ride

She screams inside
the thoughts have clouded her mind
it burns, it hurts, to think so much
and the screaming clogs the ears and such
the body moves to thoughts that steal
every moment, no time to heal
for visions build and she’s been misled
her screams have swallowed up her head
dreams don’t comfort during these reds
the worlds she visits end with tides
floods of roses often thyme
and everything will be just fine
keep the screaming inside this time

The outside evil

Windows shatter in this house
broken glass we can’t get out
fire sits just outside doors
we can’t breathe this time for sure
children burn and then they cry
we forget how nightmares hide
in the doorways, windows and floors
the demons know what we look for.

Over the cloud bridge

Where am I now
what road is this
how did I wake up
how did I dress
everything is quite the same
different but so mundane
every word comes crashing down
where I’ve been is in the clouds
broken bones-no way out
where I am is where I’ve been
did I wake up or am I dead?

Cannot forget

I hear screams
and see visions
of things that are
beyond unpleasant
everyday my brain
is plagued
with nightmares
that bleed to day
I hear screams
and see visions
of trauma that I
cannot forget

Nasty thing

All the trauma overcome
my battles won
but here’s the fun
true fear comes from
knowing love
owning something
you won’t give up
willingness to feel happy
safety is a nasty thing
comfortable and so it seems
until you dream the dying dream
fear of your own mortality
creeps upon your shoulders stay
yet you still remember the days
days when death would have been
so sweet
but knowing love has made you weak
fear the end and losing sleep
all because you have the dream.

When you dance

Blooming fire,
time to pass,
everything will start at last
the life you’ve given
the heart you’ve bled
soon the nightmares die again
everything will come to end
all that’s broken here will mend
God has captured all of me
I praise the Lord still on my knees
in the fire I find peace
everything will turn from weeds
all my shattered broken things
will find new purpose, new beginnings
I thank the Lord for all I’ve been
the pain, the hatred, the poison I’ve fed
I praise the Lord for all my scars
this turmoil and torment it all makes sense
I praise the Lord for the grace I’ve met.