Danger sitting

Danger sitting in the bed
with a grown woman who’s said
I’m a girl in one way or another
this chick ain’t bad just immature
won’t grown up its kinda absurd
act in charge like they work so hard
crying like a child
when they get paid large
don’t know how to act
so they blame men
danger is sitting in bed with them
little girls couldn’t be so damn grown
twenty fucking something years old
danger is letting women be girls
you’ve already grown up
but this time is yours
just so you know it’s silly at best
make your own life
or you’re just making a mess
danger is sitting in bed with women
grown ass adults pretending to be children
this is what we’re left with
this is what we’re given

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When I see myself

When I see myself
I burn a little
hear the heavens cry
I die a little
when I look in the mirror
can’t stop the tears
I’m the saddest actress
in only thirty years
when I see myself
I burn a little
can’t help but cry
I die a little
can’t stop the tears
or begin to try
I’m a monster baby
and I can’t keep lying
I don’t love myself
not the way I am
I’ve tried for wings
but the horns keep growing
I burn a little
and I keep on knowing
I’m a monster baby
and when I look in the mirror
can’t help myself
I die just a little
I’m a monster inside
I can see it in my eyes
when I see myself
I don’t want to see myself
I burn a little
can’t stop the tears
I’m a monster baby
been one for thirty years
I use to think
wings would suit me fine
but I fear I’ll die
before the heavens stop crying
when I see myself
can’t stop the tears
I burn a little
each time more severe
I’m a monster baby
nothing left but rot
I’m the kind of girl
that you should’ve forgot
heavens calling my name
but these horns weigh me down
I burn a little
when I see myself

Out of my hands

I keep moving when everything stops
sometimes I wonder if you fell off
no longer on the tracks cause you think too much
no longer thinking fast stuck in the past and stuff
I keep moving forward trying to get back to the point
I sometimes have to wonder if you got stuck in void
if maybe you don’t love me like you tell yourself you do
or maybe our plans aren’t important
at least not like you planned them to be
that maybe I keep doing me because it’ll never keep
I keep moving forward when everything has stopped
I keep thinking we’re together
but sometimes I wonder if you fell off
that I’m alone in the train cart
and we’re moving way too fast
like you don’t really love me
and you’re just stuck on the past
like I keep moving forward forward with our plans
but nothing becomes nothing
because it all falls out of my hands

Day by day

I’m not getting better
I just keep getting worse
here I am just tethered
to another verse
a song to sing so sweetly
that never goes away
it’s burrowed under skin
infected all my brain
I can’t keep from drowning
in the open air
I can’t keep from dying
I’m pulling out my hair
as everybody watches
enjoys the slow decay
I’m not getting better
just living day by day

But she said

She said you’re a bad guy
you don’t let me out at night
you tell me what to do
even though I asked you to
she says she’s really my friend
she don’t really like you man
she says you’re too controlling
that you want me to do your laundry
though you do mine instead
she says you’re not good in bed
but how would she ever know
she’s lying to me so we don’t wed
why are women so different
they don’t hold you down so much
unless they got what they want
they don’t really act so good
not that loyal like you wish they could
and she says you’re a bad man
that I’m too deep to understand
but I don’t know you’re still my plan
and she don’t talk to me anymore
she says I turned into a whore
all our other friends say
I gave her up so I could get laid
now they are gone and single
I made new friends and mingle
with a bunch of successful women
no little girls those games is wicked
we all found our pairs
no matter who they are
these games are fair
she said I should leave you
but now I know the real truth
she was so lonely and scared
she wanted someone else to be right there
misery loves company
it’s why having girlfriends is new to me
they get a bit vicious sometimes
so I found new friends that get my life
she said she hates me now
but I’m not in that crowd
I found new friends who say
they love me no matter my date
they love me cause I knew to stay
that they love me at the end of each day

Accept it’s over

How do you grow
how do you change
how do you find
the truth about strength
how do you grow
make your own name
if you just curl up
accept death as your fate
cry in a corner
let trauma have it’s due
never get over
don’t heal just take the roots
cut your own wrist
and finish what’s been started
die in the birth
of who you should be
but aren’t yet
how do you become
anything different
if you can’t grow
from what you have dealt with
how do change
become someone stronger
if you just lay down
don’t accept that it’s over?

Where I’ve been

Sometimes I turn my back on
the truth of who I was
how cruel I could be
setting to the floods
I burned bridges and memories
burned it all to the floor
made sure I couldn’t remember
because I didn’t want it no more
I was held up on pedestals
called a goddess and a queen
but then I remember
all the hell that I’d bring
nobody knew me
even when they thought they did
because I didn’t trust them
that’s the way that I lived
sometimes I try my best to forget
like nothing ever happened
before I decided it did
but when I lost everything
even my mind
I saw it all clearly
the choices were mine
I know who I am now
because I know where I’ve been
sometimes I might want to run
but I stand where I am
I’ll grow from the ashes
or I’ll accept that I’ve drowned
I’ll make my own way here
someway somehow
and when sometimes I cry
I’ll know I need to let it out