Walls

You say too much but not at all
the silence here is thicker than walls
it could keep a house so warm inside
wordless evenings damning rhymes
everything you never say
speak about our lives decay
nothing ever gets to good
the words don’t know what they’re worth
standing in the silent rain
watching this house build and fade
keeps you warm and rather dry
when the roof leaks the tears are mine
pouring words flooding rhymes
you say too much but not at all
the walls you built are rather nice
though the floor is soaking through
words like rain come seeping mute
sleeping without holding hands
these walls are still so rather grand

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I need this

I need this to be real
to validate how I feel
to keep me in the right
to know I’ve lost no sight
I need this nightmare to bleed
bleed into reality
to be right in front of me
I need this to be real
I need to know it’s right to feel
to see oppression and pain
even on a good bright day
to be miserable because I know
know the world is letting go
I need this to be real
need to validate how I feel
to know that I am right
even though my truth is a lie
I need this to be truth
no matter how obtuse
I need it to be true
I need to know I’m better than you
that I am right and know much better
that this reality is tethered
to the nightmares I need to be real
even if it’s painful wounds can’t heal
I need this to be real
for me
doesn’t mean that I can’t see
only that I am right believe
I need this to be real
I need this to have happened
I need to know I’m right
that indeed I’m fighting the good fight

about me

Let’s talk about me
let’s talk about all I’m gonna be
let’s talk about my favorite subject
let’s get to know me
I wanna be
everything that I can be
oh they like it that’s the new me
yes I’m a queen
I rock that black lipstick and sing
oh best believe I’m everything I claim to be
oh it’s all me
I’m every woman yes indeed
I like to play I like to scream
I’ll bend my back I’m pure naughty
a princess and a boss that’s me
I’ll pay the bills and buy the house
won’t wash the dishes my brands out
I’ll play like boys and think like men
I don’t know where this gonna end
oh I’m on top
let’s talk about me
let’s talk about my duality
I am a queen
a girl a woman and the means
I am all things
I love that metal and that pop
I am so much
so many things I have forgot
let’s talk about me
my favorite subject best believe
I’ll change everything
just so you think I’m cool baby
it’s all a game
let’s talk about me
who am I supposed to be
because I don’t know
don’t remember my last show
it’s something different
but all the same it’s what you want
let’s talk about me
let’s talk about all the things I love

Failing me

Falling, falling, falling
my dreams have died again
called to the forefront
I’m reliving in old skin
forgotten what it means
to be alive and then
falling, falling, falling down
I’ve drowned in tears
and now found out
that I have died once again
my dreams are gone
my breath is weak
falling, falling, falling me

Now looks like hell

Breaking free of suffering
the price of living luxury
safety comes at cost you see
comes with a price
and burns your dreams
breaking free of suffering
cost more than you think it means
cost you all the living things
feeling experience how you breathe
you won’t hurt but never live
never dream just drink the punch
breathing comes but not to lungs
you just live inside a shell
the world once known
now looks like hell

Water is the sun

I lay beneath the water
I fall right back to sleep
I dream of what’s to come
like moonlight bathing me
tomorrow never ceases
to be right behind the door
I lay beneath the water
my heart is wanting more
I fall right back to sleep
dream of what’s to come
moonlight as my keeper
as water is the sun.

Take it

Everybody take it
get on your knees and say
thank you for the raping
the violence that you gave
everybody smile
smile for the camera
take what you are given
the satisfying thrill
take it like you wanted it
like you do most everyday
be too afraid to shout out
or ever ever say
this isn’t what I wanted
this is not why I payed
now say thank you to the rapist
the violent and crude
say thank you to your abuser
the ones you gave in to
say thank you for your beating
and remember to smile wide
because you never ever complained
that the price was too very high
everybody take it
get on your knees tonight
you couldn’t get the courage
to either hide or fight
so take what you’ve been given
by living suicide
hang off the noose still breathing
as you pay to slowly die

Slow

Taking it slow
I don’t want to go
if I push to hard
I’ll fall apart
won’t take too long
to enter the dark
so I’m taking it slow
I just wanna survive
don’t want to fall back
thrive if I can
don’t want to let go
forget what I own
forget that
life’s worth living
the sun will rise
that I may be broken
but I’m living this life
I’m taking it slow
don’t want to let go
don’t want to stop trying
just want to be alive again
so I’m taking it slow
so I can see the sun and then
keep taking it slow
live one day at a time
keep moving on
keep living this life
don’t want to let go
just want to survive
maybe even thrive
because this is my life

Series of words

A series of words
can be daunting
ideas they fly
unwanted
in streams of visions
unclear
broken and cold
they’re near
a series of words
escapes me
littered with truth
and with dirt
they face me
a series of words
can be daunting
when you aren’t the one
that they’re wanting