I live in a memory
of how this life used to be
before we all just fell asleep
turned to shadows
dust and dreams
memories of times before
they never happened
but I remember once more
life before the dreams overcame
before the truth was washed away


Bad girl summer

Bad girl summer
it’s just what we do
our time’s over
we got much to pursue
looking for new love
but nothing from you
bad girl summer
we breaking the rules
crying and lying
lost in the glitter
showing the skin
clouds getting thicker
I’ll say that it’s you
but we know that it’s me
I broke the rules
like the bad girl I be


Moving colors in the sky
midnight purple passing high
blues and pinks all mixed up
the reds and greens all out of luck
raining down on the world below
clashing cheer no lies hold
washed away in chartreuse dreams
all the colors paint the truth
the honest strokes the sky ensues
moving colors in the sky
they slowly rain down
on this cold midnight
twinkle and burn then they die
a picture of truth left in their stead

Finding me

I thought I loved you
then I walked further on outside
I saw the real sun
the kind you can’t hide when it’s this bright
I thought I knew trust
like it was something we just do
like, I like this person so I trust them that’s the truth
but it’s not true
I never trust a single body
I never let them in though they thought I did
never spoke the truth to nobody
I thought they loved me
made excuses every damn day
why’d they forget me
why didn’t they invite me to stay
I thought you trusted me
that I was the dramatic one
saying you only come around when you need something
that’s for sure
you only came around when you needed me
to do what no one else would get done
I thought we were more
lovers and friends alike
but I got played hard
and at the very end of the night I walk home alone
don’t get no call in the morning, no
I just walk on alone
and realize I never felt anything close to love
because I never trusted you
nor did I really have respect
you thought you knew me
but you haven’t learned a damn thing yet
and now it’s over
so neither of us will know
what really went on here
I guess we’re just footprints in the snow
I thought I loved you
but I was too guarded to see
that I didn’t need you I just needed somebody
something to cling to
while I was desperately finding me.

My scars

Burn baby burn
in the mess that you created
tell me something beautiful
tell me something faded
burn baby burn
the smoke is always rising
burn it all to ashes
drink it up like air
burn baby burn
in the answers that you swear
the lies that burn your skin
the flesh is all but charred
burn baby burn
you’ve gotta pay for all my scars

Screaming and dreaming

Screaming and dreaming
that this will all now end
the river of blood
that it has been pretend
that every pain and cut
that we have suffered
is just another nightmare
existing under covers
screaming and dreaming
of something than the other
every bit of malcontent
the dreams of cowards
years we spent
and now it ends with this
screaming in the decadence


We don’t know how to let go
to move on anymore
we don’t know how to let go
to heal or leave it behind
we just hold on
hold on too tight
we use the loss to keep us up at night
to grant us power and make us seem
like we deserve attention and things
we don’t know how to let go
four years later we bring it up now
won’t move on anymore
we keep standing at the door
waiting using and feeling the loss
we don’t let go we’re all unwashed

Fantasy of permission

Fantasy of permission
that’s how you been living
on the sidelines
living selfish like
fantasizing you’re a hero
but you’re not
you take and you take
but you want
you want and you need
so you take
fantasy of permission
this ain’t
this is how you living
and it breaks
breaks down in the method
that you play
hope the game is stimulated
but it ain’t
so you feeling like you living
just the same
fantasy of permission
or admission of your guilt
this isn’t just a fantasy
it’s the way you take your milk

Picture perfect

picture perfect
the time it takes
to get
to working
the door is open
it never closes
picture has
what comes from
methods of
our shared destruction
you remember
what’s to come
through pictures perfect
a garden of roses
or of a garden of weeds