Where the dark things are

They all want the darkness
like it’s calling out to them
they all want the sickness
the voices in their heads
they all want the crawling
the writhing on the floor
as if it is a good thing
to always want for more
they all want to walk
with fire and with pain
as if they know the darkness
and call it by its name
like midnight is for magic
and the devil for the wronged
as if the dark will save them
and as if the light can’t see
as they lust for demons
when it’s angels that they need

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Never forget

Love me
love me
burn it into me
take my blood
and leave me
wanting
break my eyes
blind my touch
I never really knew
I wanted this so much
love me
roughly
and break my neck
give me something
I’ll never forget.

Unwashed

We don’t know how to let go
to move on anymore
we don’t know how to let go
to heal or leave it behind
we just hold on
hold on too tight
we use the loss to keep us up at night
to grant us power and make us seem
like we deserve attention and things
we don’t know how to let go
four years later we bring it up now
won’t move on anymore
we keep standing at the door
waiting using and feeling the loss
we don’t let go we’re all unwashed

Don’t wanna

I don’t wanna wake up
I don’t wanna see the truth
I don’t wanna know right from wrong
or good from bad
I want to go on living under sand
and I want to stop
feel like I’m always ever on top
I don’t wanna wake up
I wanna dream til I believe
I want what’s right now
and what feels good inside of me
I don’t wanna be a grown up
though I’m far too old to make that choice
I don’t wanna know that
I have misused my own voice
oh this is harder
harder than just staying in
I don’t wanna wake up
I’ve already seen where I haven’t been

I can’t let it go

I can’t let it go
I wanna watch it grow
moving from head to toe
gotta watch it slow
I can’t get enough
don’t want it in the rough
want you want it tough
got it on the hush
lay it down and blow the rush
I can’t let it go
can’t stop myself I know
let the rush get in my skull
now I want it more than don’t
I can’t get enough
wanna watch it grow
moving from head to toe
my body on the throws
I can’t get enough
want it like it rough
wanna watch it grow
lay down and see the show
I can’t get enough
can’t let it go too tough
got it on the hush
the real stuff that’s what’s up

I need this

I need this to be real
to validate how I feel
to keep me in the right
to know I’ve lost no sight
I need this nightmare to bleed
bleed into reality
to be right in front of me
I need this to be real
I need to know it’s right to feel
to see oppression and pain
even on a good bright day
to be miserable because I know
know the world is letting go
I need this to be real
need to validate how I feel
to know that I am right
even though my truth is a lie
I need this to be truth
no matter how obtuse
I need it to be true
I need to know I’m better than you
that I am right and know much better
that this reality is tethered
to the nightmares I need to be real
even if it’s painful wounds can’t heal
I need this to be real
for me
doesn’t mean that I can’t see
only that I am right believe
I need this to be real
I need this to have happened
I need to know I’m right
that indeed I’m fighting the good fight

She is

She is
everything you want to be
she is
everything you want to see
who you want to feel on me
she is what you do believe
so far away
little clean dreams
innocent as kitten cream
she is what you want to be
phrases descriptions who she is
you want to bleed
to let her in
she is
everything you want to be
a dream in skin so fresh
so clean

Blood heirs

Take what you will
take what you can
before you discover
who I really am
before you see me
me as a threat
before you are begging
begging to forget
take what you will
take what you want
drop all the context
say what you got
are you looking
for a new shot
a way to make bullets
drip from my heart
take what you will
take what you want
before you discover
the wars I have fought
you don’t belong here
here where we stand
standing as family
you rip from my hand
take what you will
it’s all that I am
speak with context
say what you want
tell the whole world
its you they should want

We’re all complicit

We’re all complicit
when our heroes turn out wrong
we want that brand new song
yes we all will sing along
we’re all dismissive
because we don’t want to give up
we want what we want
it’s far too hard to sacrifice
we want the difference
the good the bad between
we don’t want to be saviors
it’s too hard to be so clean
so we will back them
back those we know have killed
the child abusers
the animals that never heal
we damn the ones
the ones who have already served time
but won’t give up
give up the ones that prey in the light
we’re all complicit
as we keep demons as our friends
they make bad choices
but in the end it isn’t them
we’re all complicit
when it comes to those we love
we hold them up
even when we know the evils done
oh he’s a rapist
that one a pedophile
he hurts children
that one beats women
and she’s real violent
but we just ignore it
it’s too hard to keep the score
we’re all complicit
and won’t admit we’re sorry inside
it’s why we hate ourselves
why we eat the good alive
because it’s criminal
to hide the truth so deep inside
we’re all complicit
we know the evil by first name
we’ll buy the album
and defend our friends against
due shame
we’re all complicit
because we never say the name