Flesh unmoved

Isolated once again
grace of God my only friend
the human side that lacks all faith
finds no comfort while I pray
alone this flesh begins to break
slowly into last mistakes
decayed and sadden
all but broken
lost and all my will unspoken
isolated all alone
this human flesh aches to the bone
I cry to God for relief
my soul feels comfort but not my feet
flesh it yearns for another touch
someone else to feel the rush
connected and quite tethered too
my soul it tends to flesh unmoved

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Future desires

I find myself still wanting
still fearing in the night
so scared of what tomorrow brings
drunken off this fright
my soul feels everlasting
though I might die tonight
I find myself always wanting
always dreaming of this plight
the fight for immortality
for living past my death
to know what will become of me
when I finally lay to rest

Dry floor

Trying not to breathe
be anything but me
break down
and break some more
keep writhing on the floor
fall down don’t try again
keep bathing in dead skin
keep drinking from that well
keep drowning in the sun
baked by light and air so fun
trying not to breathe
lungs try desperately
be anything but me
dead if it has to be
break down and then again
writhing in this sin
drinking all that’s come before
drowning on dry floor

Looking through the skin

A demon lives within me
she wins most every time
not even love can save me
I’m running out of rhymes
nothing in me is pure now
though it may appear that way
everything is darkness
everything is rot
there’s nothing left inside of me
nothing she hasn’t got
a demon lives within me
she’s everything I am
and if I go on living
I must make a stand
I must kill what’s within me
so the demon can never leave
living is so much harder
now that the demons all I see

Otherwise

Otherwise it hurts too much
bent the steel this time enough
built a cage for me and you
a new a bleaker kind of truth
otherwise I think in rhyme
can’t afford these thoughts of mine
drinking for another way
the pain it causes hurts to say
and when it’s over the cage is done
I live quite cozy without the sun
otherwise I’ll break apart
lost without these thoughts an art

All I’ve got

Please just let me go
if you don’t think I know
the hate you gave me to eat
I chew the fat and drink the rain
the rain it falls from tears I make
please just unchain me now
you don’t hear the very sound
of me screaming crying out
let me go or kill this flesh
bleed me dry drink what’s left
please just free me from this hell
I once did think you knew me well
but now I’m crying in the dark
the hate you give it’s all I’ve got

Dread

I dread the moment you come back again
try to get back in my head
where you can chain me to your ways
make me you in this flesh I tamed
I dread the day I must fight for me
to remain a solitary identity
where I control just how I breathe
keep you out of this flesh of me
I dread the day you knock on my door
that I may flee into the floor
pretend I have never once existed
but then I think it’s the fear I’ll miss it
miss my chance to destroy my keeper
keep you out of my head forever
you can’t chain me when you’re dead
you can no longer live in my head
I dread the day we say goodbye
that I might feel more sadness inside
even though I know it’s better
I fear I’ll mourn you now and forever

Bleed for

Drawing lines on floor boards
wiping out the old score
tears we drink them down more
before we go insane
before we drown in rain
the sorrow in our veins
we drink away the pain
drawing lines on floor boards
the panels show no scores
it’s all about the new floors
tears we drink them down more
and tell ourselves what we bleed for

Where I’ve been

Sometimes I turn my back on
the truth of who I was
how cruel I could be
setting to the floods
I burned bridges and memories
burned it all to the floor
made sure I couldn’t remember
because I didn’t want it no more
I was held up on pedestals
called a goddess and a queen
but then I remember
all the hell that I’d bring
nobody knew me
even when they thought they did
because I didn’t trust them
that’s the way that I lived
sometimes I try my best to forget
like nothing ever happened
before I decided it did
but when I lost everything
even my mind
I saw it all clearly
the choices were mine
I know who I am now
because I know where I’ve been
sometimes I might want to run
but I stand where I am
I’ll grow from the ashes
or I’ll accept that I’ve drowned
I’ll make my own way here
someway somehow
and when sometimes I cry
I’ll know I need to let it out

Wordless mouth

In absence of the truth we find
souls decay they wither and die
for spoken words no longer true
you have lied demons are soothed
in absence of the honest tongue
lips they curl and dry and break
you become the thing you hate
when everything caresses evil
truth becomes the lips upheaval
and then the world starts to decay
the souls have died they’re no saints
in absence of the truth we find
the purest souls no longer mind
and everything breaks down in time
the world becomes the wordless mouth