The man

Surrounded by my golden visage
I contemplate what I’ve been missing
how much further I could have gone
if this will make another hit song
would it be louder if I was a man
would I be prouder to be who I am
would I feel better
have myself together
have more money in my bank account
fill the museum with visitors now
sitting amongst all I own
I think being a man would make me whole
that maybe I’d feel better and bold
get more than I have ever known
what more could I have
I don’t know
but if I was a man I would
know just what more I could
and as I sit with all my wealth
I contemplate the loss I’ve felt

Think I’m

Think I’m crying cause I miss you
think I’m going half insane
missing the hell you brought me
missing all that pain
I keep screaming darling
I keep asking please
think that I’m going crazy
missing all the tears I bleed
then it all gets clearer
while I look through the smoke
I don’t miss all the pain
I miss the ending of the joke
the part where we’re all laughing
acting like a family
think I’m going crazy
missing all that abuse
then when the smoke gets thick
I know I know the truth
think that I’m moving faster
moving far from you
think that I’m making progress
think it’s another breakthrough

Passing fancy

I don’t think I’ve got the time
crying tears til I’m dry
drained of everything I feel
questioning the cost of real
I don’t think I’ve got the power
can’t keep this body moving
I’m running all but empty
can’t keep these lips from chewing
if it mattered if I cared
bite the darkness never fear
lost in what was never near
the passing fancy
the pain unveiled
I don’t think I’ve got the time
lost for now the grief I find
ever after never now
paid for with the passing rhyme

Break my heart

You sing just like a siren
calling out to him
you want to see me broken
because he chose me instead
you sing about his past
like you might be his future
like once he wounds to kill me
he’ll invite you out to dinner
you sing to him so sweetly
remind him I’m not you
but when he calls me a keeper
you know you know the truth
like everything he did
he did it yes to you
you are not the keeping kind
no you’re the one to leave
sorry that it wasn’t you
he gave the wedding ring
you sing about my heartbreak
like I didn’t win
I’m the one who got him
too forget the sin he lived
you sing just like a siren
but he’s not gonna drown
I’m the keeping kind dear
you’re just the one to lay it down

old disappointment

It’s the same old disappointment
again with a grave
another goodbye to a faraway face
someone I loved dear
someone I knew
it’d been a minute
more years than were due
I knew when we spoke last
deep in my bones
that’s the last time
I’d be hearing your voice
had tried to go see you
but life got in the way
though that’s just the polite way to say
it’s the same disappointment
again with a grave
someone said something
then they went away
I knew they’d all fail us
so I called you that night
cried when you heard me
told you I was alright
nobody cared much
not for my time
I’d say I’m sorry I failed
but I know I tried
it’s the same disappointment
but that’s how it goes
another goodbye to a faraway face
maybe they’ll tell me
where the funeral will take place

Again

Once again we’re here
back to where we were
maybe I’m wrong
I hope I am
hope I’m seeing wrong again
back and then it all goes black
drunk on what never comes back
a memory of what once was
a terrible tale of truth undone
once again we’re here
back to where it all began
death is such a familiar friend
when everything goes black again

Unwashed

We don’t know how to let go
to move on anymore
we don’t know how to let go
to heal or leave it behind
we just hold on
hold on too tight
we use the loss to keep us up at night
to grant us power and make us seem
like we deserve attention and things
we don’t know how to let go
four years later we bring it up now
won’t move on anymore
we keep standing at the door
waiting using and feeling the loss
we don’t let go we’re all unwashed

What we’ve lost

Pastel colors plastic cars
everything a work of art
the world we dream in
the world we sought
a world on fire
true love forgot
plastic covers metal doors
thirsty for what is more
more than plastic
more than this
dreams of worlds less ignorant
in plastic hearts we find no love
just simple pleasures
no one above
everything a work of art
no trying here just what’s forgot

The hero in you

Everybody wants to be a hero
but no one wants to feel the fear
everybody wants to be a hero
but can’t be helped to hear
everybody wants a bad guy
we love a madman or so we think
everybody wants to change them
give them love and make them see
everybody wants the challenge
but don’t want it challenging
they don’t want to work too hard
and they never want to lose a thing
everybody wants the courage
be brave and save the scene
but nobody got the common sense
to see how very different
it really is to be the thing
that you say you want to be
it’s not that you can and don’t know
it’s that you’re a coward and let it show
wants can come and feelings go
but not everybody’s a hero that we know
gotta go through fear to learn to scream
gotta brave the darkness to be free
gotta keep repeating and doing it again
because if everybody was a hero
we would see that heroes save the day
while everybody watches
nobody wants the debt or to pay the cost
everybody’s a hero when nothing can be lost