Nasty thing

All the trauma overcome
my battles won
but here’s the fun
true fear comes from
knowing love
owning something
you won’t give up
willingness to feel happy
safety is a nasty thing
comfortable and so it seems
until you dream the dying dream
fear of your own mortality
creeps upon your shoulders stay
yet you still remember the days
days when death would have been
so sweet
but knowing love has made you weak
fear the end and losing sleep
all because you have the dream.

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Playing house progressively

White bells and wedding cakes
don’t know how long it takes
everything comes to a close
where nothing dies
but everything grows
perfect skies and perfect weather
friends and family gathered together
nothing here but left behind
girls they dreamt now those dreams cry
nothing yet has come to pass
girls turn to women women at last
but all the gardens have grown cold
nothing left they are all alone.

Money can’t buy love

When you die alone
in a hotel bed
no one ever thinks
you will wake up dead
no one ever watches
the men who keep them safe
no one is responsible
for the life they did not save.
Everyone makes choices
just like Anthony Bourdian,
chose to die alone
a single flower on his grave-
choices made by others
to ignore the ones they love
everything has happened
because of what was never done
you say that you loved him
at least you loved someone.

Pour it out

Pour it out
the colors of me
break the bones
reveal the weeds
tell me more
more of what you see
and keep me close
this love beneath
souls that blush
and spirits crumble
pour the real truth
from the bubble
and take the rest
the sum, the whole
take my red blood
turn to gold.

My clouds are lungs

It hurts
silence is deafening
have you ever really
loved me
or am I just dreaming.
This is hell-didn’t know
myself until today
the demon, maiden
and the saint
it burns and takes
the faith away.
It hurts
to hear the sound of
silence
to read the cold
and fractured
messages in the air.

Wake me

Touch me
touch me like you love me
feel me
make me real again today
show me
show me how it feels to breathe
I don’t understand
the meaning of sleep
everything breaks and I am me
a form of a body or something
if my bones shatter
I will not scream
touch me until I can fall to dreams
teach me to human
teach me to be
if I exist
it can be proven
touch me until I feel the movement

Lady on the cliff

She waits in white
upon a cliff
sounds of waves
crashing under it
hair as black as
heart is dead
her lover gone
and liver spent
she waits for him
but it is said
the one she loves
did not cross oceans

Friendly kind of virus

Take me
take me in to you
let me loose
within your mind
you’ll find in time
I’ll soothe
every wound
you cannot heal
every demon left to kill
the light behind
those dying eyes
take me as your sacrifice
I will find the damage done
heal you with the use of tongue
break your bones and drain your will
do you even know how healing feels?