Understand this

I need, I need, I need
to get across this theme
of everything we breed
encases something sinister.
That nothing is as pure
as my truth and word
all these lived experiences
shed light on these entanglements
the dark web of my true regret-
the message clear
you’re malcontent.
I need, I need, I need
to make you truly see
that though our plates may seem
equal in entirety-
that we are all the same-
you can’t make that claim
you just play their game.
I am the one in need-
give me your understanding
that we are not equals
for I’m the realest victim of you all.

 

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diagnosis accepted

I woke up in a world I’ve lost
closed my eyes now down is up
nothing is as what it seems
cloud of smoke and brain disease
mindlessness and stupidity
led by ego and delusional thinking
grandiose but un-diagnosed
at least not properly.

When I went to sleep,
when I laid my bed,
I knew the sky was blue
and blood not the color red
when I was sleeping- dreaming ever sound
my own diagnosis was settling
down, down, down, down, down
but eyes wide open-the world is flat
am I an animal, maybe a cat?

I woke up and the world turned wrong-blinked but once all logic has gone
but if this is healthy-what the fuck is normal?
If this world is stable-how am I diagnosable?

Becoming Queen

Bleeding rust and iron

the vomit of this flesh;

an exposure of insantiy

the lows and highs of

carnival distress,

lights that blind and

cotton candy that ties

those chains that keep her breathing.

Bleeding rust and mirrors

a reflection of what use to be;

a history of violence

lies, and pretty things.

Painting of the eyes a

war brewing underneath.

Take that razor, bloody knife

across that skin a kiss of

white.

Snow on fire, midnight ice

my life on trail

under this artificial light.

Queen of iron

rust for a keeper

a history of violence dead princess beneath her

love can’t undo, not a simple thing,

pretty little lies

bleeding insanity.

This flesh it vomits psychosis galore

delusions unforgettable knocking

on the mirror door.

Bleeding rust and iron

Queen of dead things

a trail by fire and ice

that created royalty

of madness, of torture, of hidden sharp things.

The princess decomposed displayed at her feet

a single tear to remind that madness is their keeper

one dead, one dying, one living off the fever.

Queen of iron, Queen of dead things, the princess

becomes you, your flesh underneath.

(November 19 2015)