Runner

It’s not that I don’t matter
it’s rather ever after
the simple things we do
not enough of you
everything is twisted
still they manage to miss it
cancer in remission
still you abuse the system
crush those drugs for honey
the world never saw you coming
you just kept on running
look at where you are now.

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Dare to believe

When the truth walks in
no one believes it
like nobody needs it
like its just a lie
though it’s actions display
that the world is in clear view
as it clearly states
the truth is on its face
but still you look away
won’t believe that it is real
the facts counter how you feel
so the truth is not what it seems
only few truly know what it means
but that’s not the case,
no, it’s no mystery
sometimes the truth
is in the majority
it walks into the room
in full view
shouldn’t be shocking-it announced
it’s next move.

Survivors choice

Survivors are survivors
victims of abuse
it’s nothing to be ashamed of
but still you have to choose
do you stand and speak
or give in to the fear?
Do you really want justice
or just to forget and heal?
Either choice is fine
but only one makes you brave
in another twenty years
will you still feel the same?
Or will you speak for fame
revealing all the monsters
only so you can get paid-
got a book to publish,
got a career to save,
nothing wrong with choices
unless you do not own them
saying you are brave
while others become the victims
you are not a hero
just because you say-
I know who the monster is
but I won’t say the name.
Silence is complicity
even though you’re right
silence is a product of
all you have survived
but choices are what make us
and you did chose to hide
heroes kill the monsters
not take the money over pride
heroes know their dignity
does not have a price.

Thicker

Harden me
harden me
make it hard to sleep
too dark to dream
every little part of me
a song to scream
another testimony
of this life I lead.
Harden me
break my bones and teeth
teach me what I need
to breathe and drink
the poison owed to me.

Understand this

I need, I need, I need
to get across this theme
of everything we breed
encases something sinister.
That nothing is as pure
as my truth and word
all these lived experiences
shed light on these entanglements
the dark web of my true regret-
the message clear
you’re malcontent.
I need, I need, I need
to make you truly see
that though our plates may seem
equal in entirety-
that we are all the same-
you can’t make that claim
you just play their game.
I am the one in need-
give me your understanding
that we are not equals
for I’m the realest victim of you all.

 

diagnosis accepted

I woke up in a world I’ve lost
closed my eyes now down is up
nothing is as what it seems
cloud of smoke and brain disease
mindlessness and stupidity
led by ego and delusional thinking
grandiose but un-diagnosed
at least not properly.

When I went to sleep,
when I laid my bed,
I knew the sky was blue
and blood not the color red
when I was sleeping- dreaming ever sound
my own diagnosis was settling
down, down, down, down, down
but eyes wide open-the world is flat
am I an animal, maybe a cat?

I woke up and the world turned wrong-blinked but once all logic has gone
but if this is healthy-what the fuck is normal?
If this world is stable-how am I diagnosable?

Becoming Queen

Bleeding rust and iron

the vomit of this flesh;

an exposure of insantiy

the lows and highs of

carnival distress,

lights that blind and

cotton candy that ties

those chains that keep her breathing.

Bleeding rust and mirrors

a reflection of what use to be;

a history of violence

lies, and pretty things.

Painting of the eyes a

war brewing underneath.

Take that razor, bloody knife

across that skin a kiss of

white.

Snow on fire, midnight ice

my life on trail

under this artificial light.

Queen of iron

rust for a keeper

a history of violence dead princess beneath her

love can’t undo, not a simple thing,

pretty little lies

bleeding insanity.

This flesh it vomits psychosis galore

delusions unforgettable knocking

on the mirror door.

Bleeding rust and iron

Queen of dead things

a trail by fire and ice

that created royalty

of madness, of torture, of hidden sharp things.

The princess decomposed displayed at her feet

a single tear to remind that madness is their keeper

one dead, one dying, one living off the fever.

Queen of iron, Queen of dead things, the princess

becomes you, your flesh underneath.

(November 19 2015)