Personality disorders

Believe me
when I say
some thing’s
can be easily explained
sometimes it’s not complicated
it’s just something you won’t admit
it’s not anything abnormal
it’s a personality defect
rather a disorder
like narcissism or borderline
it’s really rather common
though often is denied
unlike mood afflictions
these will last unless
the person is in treatment
and active in development
of serious self awareness
just like organic illness
those living life like this
all have to face the fact
that they weren’t born
to think
normally
it’s part of what disordered means.

Advertisements

tagged

I am ceramic
fragile and tragic
frozen in place
where you led me.
Statue of stone
bathed in this gold
I have no soul
can you save me?
I am ceramic
precious, fragile,
and sold.

Trans is beautiful

If you’re gonna do it-
do it right.
Turn that symptom into life-
don’t grieve that diagnosis-
just put that dress on tonight-
cause if you’re gonna do this shit-
do it right.
Don’t forget it’s a delusion but
embrace the brains solution
and turn that defect into movement!
Paint that face, move with grace,
perfect that bitchy kinda pout-
the most beautiful trans women
know this without a doubt:
that they are men but live in costume
knowing who they are
with or without you
and
that claiming you’re a real woman
simply makes you unstable.
The most beautiful trans women
do mental illness just right
looking like a dream
you’ve had most of your life.

Pink Petals

I’m not alone
I found myself
and now I know
I’m not alone
this world it has
found me a home
and when I’m gone
I’ll take the smiles
and the rage
I’ll take the sorrow
and this pain
it’s made me whole again
and now
I know
I’m not alone
I’m not alone
I found myself at once again
stepping ever at the edge
my world a tide of once again
I’m not alone
I’ve my own, my love
my marriage to this tome
I’m not alone
ever caged but free to roam
this I owe
my beloved soul and heart
too worn to ever
beat again
I’m not alone
and on my deathbed
this I know
I’m going home.

Pennies

Don’t have much
but I’ve got faith
broker than I’ve ever been
but more than safe
God gave me answers
in the form of love
God has kept this ship
from the bottom
of the mud.

Forever

Tell me who I am
and what I’ll never be
let the story drown
in brilliant infancy.
Tell me what is up
tell me where is blue
and I will walk alone
along one-two, one-two.

Make me

Affirmation, Affirmation
we will force your recognition
we will force the change,
additions,
to the science by omission,
reinvent the definition
change the facts to your own diction,
rewriting facts with ignorant precision.
Affirmation, affirmation
force the work on your neighbor,
force the majority to do you a favor.
Part of being people is picking up yourself,
part of being happy is stable mental health.
No one deserves to die for being themselves-
fight for your life,
but leave the thought out?
Screaming for protection
while transforming yourself?
If the solutions exterior
you are deluding the help
asking for a surgery to affirm
the shell
leaving all the rest to wallow and wail-born in the wrong body-
how can you tell?
You want some affirmation
maybe start with yourself?

Dysmorphia

You know
once
I thought I was a boy:
too big, too tall, not feminine enough.

Looking like my brother
not a single sign of mother.
I’m a little girl but confused about my cover
I have the body-but maybe I don’t?
I think I’ll bleed-but maybe I won’t?

I’m a little girl
my body barely grown
can you fucking tell me;
what story do I own?
What the fuck is female
when dysmorphia is home?
What the fuck is my tale
when anxiety has grown?

You tell me what is female
tell me what to do
if it’s not about my vagina
surely it’s my everyday pursuits?

Yet, I don’t know my face
can’t visualize my body
my mind a mental wreck
plagued by symptoms-mind is foggy.

You know,
I use to think
I was a boy
a girl it seemed to me was void
of everything my body meant;
too big, too tall, too masculine,
but then you see
I found the truth within-
genders just the outside skin-present the way that feels the best
it’s biology that dictates sex.
Tell me what it is to be a female;
lipstick, nice hair, and seashells?

Nature and nurture
the real deal
a concept that saved my life-
so surreal,
despite the lies that have been told-
just females,
my body, my own, so unreal

I am a female.
A mix of masculine feminine freedom
owner of a cunt and reason.
Dsymorphia undone
through treatment.