Price per pound

Worth the empty nausea
the pain that comes
with starvation
the feeling you’ll
succumb to death
forget it all
it’s worth all this
the cramps, the vomit-
all the confusion
you’ll feel better
protect the illusion
everything will be
just fine
you’ll get thin
and possibly die
worth the empty nausea
if your corpse is thin enough.

When you ask them not to

Even if you tell them
they’ll never forget to say
You look so good,
so thin, so good-
you look so beautiful-
so damn good.
You’ve lost weight
but have you ate?
Before you answer
just let me say
you’ve never looked
so beautiful
you’ve never looked
so good at all.
You feel better-don’t you?
You feel good-now say it!
Say you feel better-
say you feel good-
don’t you feel healthier-
I knew that you would,
say that you feel good
say you feel better
say you feel great
no matter the case.
You’ve become thinner
so you must be safe
I asked you if you’d eaten
but you didn’t say
I look so good,
so fucking lovely,
didn’t I say
I’m anorexic, honey?

Co-occurring illnesses

and I might die tonight
not likely but kidneys might
might go out or fail somehow
maybe my liver just gives out
haven’t eaten well in months
can’t swallow food
it takes too much
all my faculties have stopped
at least the ones
that turns hunger on
everything tastes so vivid
my tongue recoils
bile begins if
if I don’t swallow and cover my mouth
hold it all in just choke it right down
don’t start to cry
you’ll never get finished
won’t even start
the food will go cold
but you’ve no longer a stomach
a hunger or a soul
and I might just die from malnutrition
it’s not really likely
but it won’t be my decision
Ana has taken the fork from my hand
if I can’t recover this fight is done man
I fought through depression
but the battles never won
if it’s not one thing it’s another symptom.

When hunger fades

Empty stomach cramps and sings
tells me all about dying
how it feels and where we’ll go
if and when starvation grows
food I need-I’m not recovered
yesterday I ate like normal
now my mouth is dry and closed
if it opens no one really knows
I can’t swallow hardly breathe
death plagues my thoughts
oh woe is me
dramatic to say I can’t eat
though honest to God I’m too weak
crying while I struggle to chew-can’t eat
empty stomach cramps and sings
looking at a full plate I’m dying
looking at a full plate mouth goes dry
looking at a full plate my stomach
goes quiet.