Accept it’s over

How do you grow
how do you change
how do you find
the truth about strength
how do you grow
make your own name
if you just curl up
accept death as your fate
cry in a corner
let trauma have it’s due
never get over
don’t heal just take the roots
cut your own wrist
and finish what’s been started
die in the birth
of who you should be
but aren’t yet
how do you become
anything different
if you can’t grow
from what you have dealt with
how do change
become someone stronger
if you just lay down
don’t accept that it’s over?

Slow

Taking it slow
I don’t want to go
if I push to hard
I’ll fall apart
won’t take too long
to enter the dark
so I’m taking it slow
I just wanna survive
don’t want to fall back
thrive if I can
don’t want to let go
forget what I own
forget that
life’s worth living
the sun will rise
that I may be broken
but I’m living this life
I’m taking it slow
don’t want to let go
don’t want to stop trying
just want to be alive again
so I’m taking it slow
so I can see the sun and then
keep taking it slow
live one day at a time
keep moving on
keep living this life
don’t want to let go
just want to survive
maybe even thrive
because this is my life

#Iamnotokay

I am not okay
want you to know today
the painful truth of self
how i let myself down
didn’t speak the pain
refused to say the name
said the truth must be
that i cut myself baby
I’ll show you as if it’s art
cry tears that are hard to start
about why I’m always afraid
but i can work today
share my pain as though it’s yours
hurt the world with my last word
I am not okay
because I could never say
the name or how I felt
how i let myself down
I cut myself today
triggered others with my pain
don’t sell a proper way out
show beauty in pain right now
the beauty in tragedy
though self mutilation be
a horrid act of self
I am not okay
but this is my hell
I didn’t speak when spoken to
if this is happening to you
speak out and do not mince
words that stick to lips
force screams and let them know
you aren’t okay don’t let go
cutting is not beauty
scars remind us truly
that ignoring our own pain
breaks us of our name
don’t glorify that scene
with pictures meant to be
beautifully framed art without a game
scars and cuts they are the same
as what nobody needs
you share a picture please
remember what it means
that pain is not beauty
there’s no strength in being a victim
survival is much different
then living and learning to thrive
a victim is not how you strive
don’t glorify your scars
your pain is not who you are
I live my life in fear
overcome it live my dears
don’t allow the rich to bleed
bleed unto you baby
just lift yourself back up
even if you cut
don’t glorify that pain
glorify the strength that comes
by admitting you need help
by leaving victimhood for health

Running

They don’t come running
no they don’t bring you home
they don’t care
no they don’t care where you go
they won’t come running
though you dream they would
that they’d be there for
only if they could
but you know better
know more than they
they don’t come running
they don’t come your way
they won’t bring you home
or call out your name
thought that they’d care
but that’s not the case
they don’t come running
at least not for you
no you know them better
than you use to
and so you just know that
they aren’t coming
so you save yourself
there’s no real use in running.

When things break

Broken, broken promises and glass
every thought you’ve never had
every want goes unfulfilled
you never lost the will
kept your head from drowning
broken now, but climbing
forever now subsiding
and turning down the edge
of broken glass and bread
broken, broken glass and shards
taken out the heart and
forgotten every scar.

Choose

Choose strength
choose courage
choose to be braver than
anyone who ever said you can’t
and rise
don’t give up the fight
make the choice to thrive
and never let a word be read
that you’d give up or let
the world win
rise above
all their reasons because
all the doubt and the lies
no one else is living your life
let go of excuses and bleed
bleed out everything
feel the hurt and the pain
choose to live your life by the blade
choose strength not power
choose to burn all the cowards
break your bones and always know
you will survive
choose to be a hero
and do what’s right
never silence yourself
break free of brain signals that fail
rise up and prevail
or die standing your ground
justice you’ve found
in never backing down.

Victory

Justice comes to those
who fight
no matter the battle-
can’t run and hide-
wait for the victory
push fear aside
wade through the depth
of sacrifice
the price of justice
blind faith and keen eye
take in the moments
bring courage to life
show the demons
they’ve no place
here tonight
bleed for the victory
give Heaven it’s time.

Thicker

Harden me
harden me
make it hard to sleep
too dark to dream
every little part of me
a song to scream
another testimony
of this life I lead.
Harden me
break my bones and teeth
teach me what I need
to breathe and drink
the poison owed to me.