Undiagnosable teens

Let’s look for every
every reason
but the one
the truth behind the number
the number of what’s to come
blame the tool that wounds you
point to shadows that tease
but never name the demon
never label the monster that feeds
dance around the issue
even when it’s clear
look for every reason
every reason we want to hear
always just the action never into deeds
we just look at surface
our answers never heed
healing our own hearts
with lies and misunderstandings
let’s look for every reason
every reason
for the bleed
look for every reason
unless the answer is haunting.



Fun undoes the trauma
if only for a moment
laughter heals the wound
that remains still open
everything exist all at once
and never
everything you miss
leaves you confused
much longer
smiles are just actions
but they cure the sadness
biological interactions
with this world’s dark madness

Between sickle cell and autism

Self diagnosis,
an absurd thought
ego driven narcissist
who think they’ve read a lot
surface based psychology
physiology never sought
the deeper medical criteria
just a white man’s evil plot-
everyone’s autistic
it’s a spectrum-just a game
everybody’s special
so diagnose away!
Pop psychology dictates
the psychologist will get paid
because when it comes to pills
you need the insurances to play
you can be a schizo
it’s normal to be a sociopath
we just love playing dress up
reality just an act
so when I say I have cancer
everyone just play along
because if you can be autistic
than medically I’m a dog.

A form of medication

Say it again
say that you need me
say that I’m here for a reason
say that I’m worth it
that I do deserve it
because I can’t feel real without it
say it again
say it for me
say it until I believe


Round and round and round we go
the music traps,the mirrors show
the faces beyond that grace bestowed
the truth behind the mask you bemoan
everything you ought to be
everything your purpose bleeds
round and round and round you’ll see
everything that’s meant to be
everything that’s out of reach
the music traps, the mirrors show
the nightmare kept-you’ve no control
Merry-go-round and round and round
it never stops
you can’t come down.


I guess it’s nothing
nothing but the bottom
the bottom of the hole we dug
given up-have we begun?
I don’t have the answer yet
but I will smile
and I will forget
then it comes-another day
everything’s fine-I am okay.


It’s not that I don’t matter
it’s rather ever after
the simple things we do
not enough of you
everything is twisted
still they manage to miss it
cancer in remission
still you abuse the system
crush those drugs for honey
the world never saw you coming
you just kept on running
look at where you are now.

Personality disorders

Believe me
when I say
some thing’s
can be easily explained
sometimes it’s not complicated
it’s just something you won’t admit
it’s not anything abnormal
it’s a personality defect
rather a disorder
like narcissism or borderline
it’s really rather common
though often is denied
unlike mood afflictions
these will last unless
the person is in treatment
and active in development
of serious self awareness
just like organic illness
those living life like this
all have to face the fact
that they weren’t born
to think
it’s part of what disordered means.

The reason is not nothing

Let me say it
let me speak the words
today’s not a good day
I know it’s absurd
that I’m a mess
the moment I wake up
but let me say the reason
the reason for this fuss
let me say it’s nothing-
nothing material
I’m just having a bad day
a bad day because-
you don’t want to hear it
but it’s more then a feel
some days are just bad days
when you’re mentally ill