Lying

I can’t keep on lying
pretending not to see
that I am not a victim
not victim of history
that my sex has never bent so
never bowed on bended knee
I can’t keep on lying
pretending to be weak
as if those who’ve come before me
never existed that way
I can’t keep on pretending
that my legacy is not strength
I am not a victim
and I’m taking that to my grave

Begging me

Begging me to stop now
bringing me to tears
I drink the words I like best
I drown myself in mirrors
reflection of what might have been
a better story to tell
I can give you exciting dreams
but I don’t think I should
begging me to stop now
yelling at myself
want to stop the lying
stop dreaming of the sound
the words they get me drunk off
everything I’ve said
I can make them believe
anything I want
bringing me to tears
bringing me too much
begging me to stop now
I drown myself in mirrors
I drink way too many words
I can tell you stories
change the entire world

Kind of life

Plead with me
drink my bones
take the feed
bring the flood
drown before you know tomorrow
let go of all that real sorrow
drown in liquor and in lies
the kind you tell yourself at night
alone in covers made of glass
plead with me
and drop the act
drink my bones and drown forever
in the misery I take pleasure
plead with me
and know my name
take the drink and drown in time
you’ll never know this kind of life

Yesterday’s sin

I paid a price
I wasn’t right
took the wrong road home tonight
can’t find my bed
I’ve lost my head
drunk off what might have been
I paid the price for lies I’ve told
sold myself and lost it all
drowned in what had never been
a bleak tomorrow
yesterday’s sin

Wrong and dirty

I did you wrong and dirty
played the victim very well
abused the aftermath
and made your world a living hell
but it was all to serve a purpose
selfish as it was
I needed to feel something
living life was just no fun
so I created drama
let myself go quite insane
I remember screaming
that you’d rue the day
you took your love away
left me with a broken heart
and all those other lies
as the truth of all this bullshit
is I was doing just fine
I did you wrong and dirty
played the part so naturally
it was all to serve a purpose
to selfishly let free
all the kept up emotions
regarding the life you’d never see

Mute

Let’s come out and say it
the abuse is a lie
she isn’t crying
she’s laughing inside
we know the victims
and even when we don’t
why believe everyone
this world is a joke
pointing a whole hand
screaming in the dark
let’s come out and say it
we know it when we hear
the world can keep a timeline
the world can know a year
not everyone’s a liar
not everyone tells the truth
that’s why facts are important
and feelings often mute

Normal

Didn’t know truth
didn’t know what’s real
didn’t even know if
I could even feel
numb to the pain yes
numb to the screams
I wanted to die but
never knew the need
didn’t know the truth
didn’t know what real was
didn’t know in my youth
what was normal because
I didn’t know the truth
about being human
no one ever told me
I was just left musing
a child being lied to
and making things up
just to make sense of it
normals enough

Deception Looming

Every number has a meaning
words they drown and are deceiving
lost inside mouths that fear
that drink before they know it’s here
consume the air just to keep moving
growing in their deceptive grooming
every hair cut straight on head
every number a lie again
the words they hold so much yearning
burning ashes keep on churning
but nothing comes and nothing goes
everything drowns when it snows

Forget, move on

So many promises
broken, lost and discarded
you never told me
what you really wanted
this is not okay,
no, it’s really quite disgusting
that my only crime is believing
what you told me,
so many little things left unsaid
didn’t take the time to be acquainted
you took to speaking words so confident
but you never came through
you never made good
just kept fucking talking
like one day you would
but one day never comes
it never gets better
until the final day when I forget forever
every promise broken let’s say that I forgot
I don’t really know you
just start new with what you got
so many broken promises
I forget and then move on