biology is physical

I am
a biological female
a true born spilt tale.
I am
not some kind of feeling
not a state of delusional thinking.
I am
whatever the fuck I say I am
masculine or feminine
I am woman
and I made peace with it.
I am
a biological female
born with a cunt
so I didn’t have to get one.
I am
also pretty crazy
been delusional-
gender dysphoric and maybe
even thinking I
I might not be a lady
but I am who I am
and trans ideology
can’t change me.

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The mysteries of gender dysphoria

Misinformation is vile
professionalism is dead
all the research you’ve twisted
all the people you’ve misled
with all that psychobabble
and all that ego praise
making gender dysphoria
a product-a ticket to acclaim
it’s actually rather common
though typically is just a phase
it can lead to delusional thinking
if it doesn’t go away
it accounts for outcomes
without twisting data
to add your name
it’s already a subcategory
connected to a state
of anxiety
in all its various forms
it comes with stress,
hormonal changes,
and existing mood disorders
you really do disservice
when you mystify a problem.

The dissociated brain

Have you ever felt
inside out?
Backwards and forth
like someone else.
Ever looked at him
and thought that is me
felt the utter horror
of not existing
replace all your thoughts
with what his could be?
Just have to shake it off
no point in listening
it’s just your fucking mind
not reality
but this won’t move aside
no it’s meant to be
can’t hold this in sight
I’ve let go of me.
All these symptoms collide
and his face takes over me
he’s just handing me my change
but I’ve become a he
if I don’t break this hold
I might end up in ward b-reality
it chokes on my brains news feed.
I cannot keep up with these
thoughts you see
reality is not something meant to be
it’s quite tiresome you see
I can go a long way just to breathe
but the scenery becomes a bit of paint
and every interaction is unsafe
I may walk away fighting your face
thoughts of living your life in your place-
my reality in space, no memories or piece
of who I might be.
Have you ever lived your life this way?
I have to be aware to stop the pain
exhausted though I am
I will remain.

diagnosis accepted

I woke up in a world I’ve lost
closed my eyes now down is up
nothing is as what it seems
cloud of smoke and brain disease
mindlessness and stupidity
led by ego and delusional thinking
grandiose but un-diagnosed
at least not properly.

When I went to sleep,
when I laid my bed,
I knew the sky was blue
and blood not the color red
when I was sleeping- dreaming ever sound
my own diagnosis was settling
down, down, down, down, down
but eyes wide open-the world is flat
am I an animal, maybe a cat?

I woke up and the world turned wrong-blinked but once all logic has gone
but if this is healthy-what the fuck is normal?
If this world is stable-how am I diagnosable?

Trans is beautiful

If you’re gonna do it-
do it right.
Turn that symptom into life-
don’t grieve that diagnosis-
just put that dress on tonight-
cause if you’re gonna do this shit-
do it right.
Don’t forget it’s a delusion but
embrace the brains solution
and turn that defect into movement!
Paint that face, move with grace,
perfect that bitchy kinda pout-
the most beautiful trans women
know this without a doubt:
that they are men but live in costume
knowing who they are
with or without you
and
that claiming you’re a real woman
simply makes you unstable.
The most beautiful trans women
do mental illness just right
looking like a dream
you’ve had most of your life.