All but gone

I’m sitting in the smoke now
drinking from a muggy glass
wondering where it all went wrong
wondering why the good times pass
sitting in this loud deep silence
drowning in the foamy top
sitting in this smoky darkness
almost feels like God forgot
got me thinking I want off
dreaming of that wet beyond
that drip of death
the willow spent
and this dirty glass all but gone

Take away

Take the spite away
take the rage I cage
I just want to feel
relief from what’s not real
all my life I ponder
thought at once I’d wander
drive until I sleep
somewhere new and free
chained myself by fear
faith I thought held dear
but all my words were empty
I wish I had the time
memory of wine
blood that kept me clean
take away the screams
keep the shame at bay
Oh Lord I feel insane

Blind eye

Turn a blind eye
to what is known
that wrong is wrong
it’s not for show
right is right
and wrong won’t do
you turn a blind eye
and pretend it’s through
all the bleeding
all the heart
everything we tear apart
to make excuses
make it feel okay
turn a blind eye
keep the faith

Flesh unmoved

Isolated once again
grace of God my only friend
the human side that lacks all faith
finds no comfort while I pray
alone this flesh begins to break
slowly into last mistakes
decayed and sadden
all but broken
lost and all my will unspoken
isolated all alone
this human flesh aches to the bone
I cry to God for relief
my soul feels comfort but not my feet
flesh it yearns for another touch
someone else to feel the rush
connected and quite tethered too
my soul it tends to flesh unmoved

How it goes

Got about a million worries
but I just don’t think
can’t let my mind dwell on the future
or my eyes might weep
crying gets you close to nowhere
never too the goal
so even with a million worries
I know I must let go
the blindest faith is hard enough
without a thought to spare
I got too much
too much trouble to even care
so I don’t think of the future going
where it’ll end up or how it goes
I just move knowing I’ll end up somewhere
and my worries may always grow
because if it’s not one thing it’s another
or another that’s how it goes

The garden

Empty and tired
I am on my knees
forgotten and broken
I have no relief
faith is bordered
by my doubt and tears
I’ve been fighting
so hard
for all these years
empty and tired
I have lost my wings
broken and forgotten
left to sow these weeds
in a garden barren
of flowers and trees
a wasteland I’ve discovered
made by all my deeds
the good, the bad and
everything has led
to the garden
of empty promises
left to vultures
here I wait
grace I know
will always save
empty and tired
I cannot give up
life is long
this time I’ve had
is not enough.

No longer

The light that shines
through darkness
never really seen
the broken doors and windows
leave entrance for the thieves
I’ve been sitting sick and pretty
waiting for the end
dying from the inside
the sickness in my head
the light that shines so brightly
through darkness and through hell
brings comfort without vision
making masters out of shells
hunk of human flesh
enough from the start
broken is the brain
creating all the parts
the light that shines
through darkness
makes my body gold
a broken doll no longer
my faith has made me whole.