Flesh unmoved

Isolated once again
grace of God my only friend
the human side that lacks all faith
finds no comfort while I pray
alone this flesh begins to break
slowly into last mistakes
decayed and sadden
all but broken
lost and all my will unspoken
isolated all alone
this human flesh aches to the bone
I cry to God for relief
my soul feels comfort but not my feet
flesh it yearns for another touch
someone else to feel the rush
connected and quite tethered too
my soul it tends to flesh unmoved

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How it goes

Got about a million worries
but I just don’t think
can’t let my mind dwell on the future
or my eyes might weep
crying gets you close to nowhere
never too the goal
so even with a million worries
I know I must let go
the blindest faith is hard enough
without a thought to spare
I got too much
too much trouble to even care
so I don’t think of the future going
where it’ll end up or how it goes
I just move knowing I’ll end up somewhere
and my worries may always grow
because if it’s not one thing it’s another
or another that’s how it goes

The garden

Empty and tired
I am on my knees
forgotten and broken
I have no relief
faith is bordered
by my doubt and tears
I’ve been fighting
so hard
for all these years
empty and tired
I have lost my wings
broken and forgotten
left to sow these weeds
in a garden barren
of flowers and trees
a wasteland I’ve discovered
made by all my deeds
the good, the bad and
everything has led
to the garden
of empty promises
left to vultures
here I wait
grace I know
will always save
empty and tired
I cannot give up
life is long
this time I’ve had
is not enough.

No longer

The light that shines
through darkness
never really seen
the broken doors and windows
leave entrance for the thieves
I’ve been sitting sick and pretty
waiting for the end
dying from the inside
the sickness in my head
the light that shines so brightly
through darkness and through hell
brings comfort without vision
making masters out of shells
hunk of human flesh
enough from the start
broken is the brain
creating all the parts
the light that shines
through darkness
makes my body gold
a broken doll no longer
my faith has made me whole.

When you dance

Blooming fire,
time to pass,
everything will start at last
the life you’ve given
the heart you’ve bled
soon the nightmares die again
everything will come to end
all that’s broken here will mend
God has captured all of me
I praise the Lord still on my knees
in the fire I find peace
everything will turn from weeds
all my shattered broken things
will find new purpose, new beginnings
I thank the Lord for all I’ve been
the pain, the hatred, the poison I’ve fed
I praise the Lord for all my scars
this turmoil and torment it all makes sense
I praise the Lord for the grace I’ve met.

Purpose driven

Sometimes I panic
my world flattens
everything is up
in the air
nothing is certain
I’m guessing it’s worth it
but I’m not even sure
I am here
sometimes I panic
thinking about it
knowing I could lose
my home
but faith says to have it
take the pain and manage
to continue moving on
and know
sometimes in darkness
we fail into this-the distress
that unravels bones
but if you keep moving
watch the improving
the struggle is in keeping
the goal.

Answers of the echos

Rosary beads falling from my hands
and everything seems pale again
you ask questions-don’t want the answers
you want change but it’s not worth the effort
everything is falling down
breaking it of faith
you fall down the rabbit hole
you’re losing it today
become quite tall, then small again-
you’ll be who you were never that is
you aren’t you, you’ve become
the one falling down
the one unloved
foolish are the things that we do
break apart the number
it’s how we move
forget about the beads
don’t remember to pray
you don’t really want the answers anyway

public shaming

Pray to the demons
you’ve nothing left
grace is beyond you
or so you’ve said
you find no fault here
though tears do well
nightmares plague you
you’re trapt in hell
so why not now drown
and show your hand
you’re only as powerful
as the mob you’ve fed