Kill the pain

I’m sitting here just sipping whiskey
got the power to kill the pain
watching as he walks up closer
thinking he might get a taste
take him back to my place
ride him like I own his face
sitting just sipping whiskey
thinking about how I might bleed
he’s walking up and getting closer
I just drop down to my knees
got my mind all wet and wild
like the lipstick I pretend to steal
I wish I had a wild idea
but I finish my whiskey
and get the fuck out of here

The characters

The characters
they get real quiet
don’t know much
I’m undecided
can’t pick up the pen
I’m so divided
on what I should do
and what I want
wish I could
just blow it off
but the characters
they drive the plot
manipulate
through undo silence
threaten with
forgetful violence
the kind that kills
like an eraser
threatens to die
or forget the players
end the story
without an ending
they get real quiet
and they don’t grow
the story ends
without a show

A little

I went ahead and I died a little
got dressed and cried a little
let it go and set fire to it
burnt it down got rid of it
I went ahead and I died a little
cried and drove until I felt a little
but nothing ever fits the middle
all I do is walk that line
thought I was living but life’s a lie
went ahead and died
came back fine and I cried a little

Continue

I just wanna escape
don’t want to think too much
just wanna play all day
forget the junk I have to do
just want to get myself through
don’t know the truth
drive through the night
all in my mind
thinking too damn high
I’m just stuck
just wanna escape
I’m too tired to
I just want to get through
want it all to be done
so I can continue

Participation

Participation-
congratulations you were there,
participation-
congratulations you tried.
You may not be wonderful
you may not be adept
you just showed up because-
participation.
Congratulations-
you tried,
came in last this time
got your trophy and pride
didn’t win the race
but you got second to last place
a trophy on your mantel,
a kiss upon your cheek,
participate and find
all the validation that you seek.
You can’t be a winner
to win is just too gloat
participation is the only way
build it up so they don’t try
we made the world better
by letting aptitude slide.

Questions

Breathe in, breathe out
die quick or live in doubt-
can we live like this again?
Have I shed my thicker skin?
Broken what might have been?
Have I left the wisdom well-
lost myself returned to hell?
Breathe in, breathe out
live it through or die without-
can I find the peace inside
make this sadness burn so bright
burn away the pain and sorrow
can I reach my dreams tonight?

A poem for bread

Let’s start from the beginning
what demons have you been feeding
what passions have been leading
you down this long complicated road
you ended up right here
the path should be so clear
as to why you haven’t given it your all
why you were always destined to fall
you never gave it priority
never put it first
let’s start from the beginning
tell me why you lack the thirst.

public shaming

Pray to the demons
you’ve nothing left
grace is beyond you
or so you’ve said
you find no fault here
though tears do well
nightmares plague you
you’re trapt in hell
so why not now drown
and show your hand
you’re only as powerful
as the mob you’ve fed

Goals

Just do what you do
stop asking permission
acting like a grown person
than assume the position
don’t want to do your makeup
or style your hair?
You keep saying patriarchy
got you all scared,
then stiffen that lip-
get your ass in gear
never let a concept
stop you from being real.

Just do what you do
stop asking permission
pretending the enemy is a system-
a mission,
say that the white man
is keeping you down
that straight white America’s
taken your sound,
but still you’re just sitting
playing the clown-lioness thinking
you can’t change your ground.

Want representation?
Then make it yourself
got so much ambition
then break from the crowd
you need permission, safe places,
and laws?
You must not want this
at least not at all.