Round and round and round we go
the music traps,the mirrors show
the faces beyond that grace bestowed
the truth behind the mask you bemoan
everything you ought to be
everything your purpose bleeds
round and round and round you’ll see
everything that’s meant to be
everything that’s out of reach
the music traps, the mirrors show
the nightmare kept-you’ve no control
Merry-go-round and round and round
it never stops
you can’t come down.


The dissociated brain

Have you ever felt
inside out?
Backwards and forth
like someone else.
Ever looked at him
and thought that is me
felt the utter horror
of not existing
replace all your thoughts
with what his could be?
Just have to shake it off
no point in listening
it’s just your fucking mind
not reality
but this won’t move aside
no it’s meant to be
can’t hold this in sight
I’ve let go of me.
All these symptoms collide
and his face takes over me
he’s just handing me my change
but I’ve become a he
if I don’t break this hold
I might end up in ward b-reality
it chokes on my brains news feed.
I cannot keep up with these
thoughts you see
reality is not something meant to be
it’s quite tiresome you see
I can go a long way just to breathe
but the scenery becomes a bit of paint
and every interaction is unsafe
I may walk away fighting your face
thoughts of living your life in your place-
my reality in space, no memories or piece
of who I might be.
Have you ever lived your life this way?
I have to be aware to stop the pain
exhausted though I am
I will remain.


I am ceramic
fragile and tragic
frozen in place
where you led me.
Statue of stone
bathed in this gold
I have no soul
can you save me?
I am ceramic
precious, fragile,
and sold.


Tell me who I am
and what I’ll never be
let the story drown
in brilliant infancy.
Tell me what is up
tell me where is blue
and I will walk alone
along one-two, one-two.