Forever awed

Didn’t care until I was gone
thought I’d be with you all along
like a dog without a say
like you’d just keep getting paid
didn’t care that I could’ve died
you just smiled that smile of lies
like you really gave a damn
thought you had me throat in hand
didn’t care until I walked away
thought you’d always have the right away
like I’d pay your bills straight from the grave
but you took too much and I left the bank
didn’t care until I was gone
thought I’d never turn it off
like I hadn’t once before
you thought me weak again for sure
didn’t care because I let you in
but now the house is all but burnt
you thought I would stay but I’ve learnt
it’s gone and everything’s empty
you try hard but never forget me
now I’m gone and you wish I wasn’t
but I ain’t here to pay off a little or nothing
for the debt you built so very high up
your pain my very new triumph
thought I’d stay out of obligation
but now my responsibilities ain’t weighted
didn’t care that I could’ve died
now I’m gone and you asking why
shut the door the banks all closed up
got nothing for the beggars and locusts
didn’t care until I was gone
so now you miss me forever in awe

Burning roses

I’m burning roses now
and I ain’t coming down
got no dollar bills
but I’m floating proud
people be looking at me
like I’m so damn lost
but these dreams are happening
no matter the cost
I got my own pen in my hand now
and a voice that I’m using
gonna make my own way
and I’m never pursuing
the past that undid me
when I was living my life
everybody was saying
I was doing it right
had everything wrapped up
in a nice little bow
all my fucking chaos
yeah that shit explode
I can’t do nine to five now
my degree don’t mean nothing
I’m living the life now
that makes me feel something
I’m burning the garden
and feeling so good
you thought that you controlled me
I think you misunderstood
you never did see me
but you took all I had
left me with bad credit
and no fucking cash
had a nervous breakdown
but now I’m not even sad
I’m writing the next chapter
I’m changing the story
you took all I had even the glory
so now I’m crawling upwards
from this dirty floor
everybody might be talking mess
but I’m aiming to soar

That I said I’d do

You wanna trap me
maybe catch me
unaware and vulnerable
but you haven’t noticed
that I don’t owe you this
I’m not falling for this game again
you took so much
but you still want more
think you’re owed something
while I’m still here on the floor
like several months of doing good
makes up for years of you
not doing as you should
as though a little bit makes up a lot
those words you said have you forgot
that you can’t take back
all that you did
you think penance is over
but it ain’t even begin
you want me to come crawling back
but I’m still picking up from where you left
I lost everything even my fucking mind
and when I almost died
you thought everything was fine
you haven’t learned a thing
and everybody’s talking shit
they all telling you I’m the bad in this
but I don’t give a damn
and I don’t care about you
I’m still doing all the things that I said I’d do

Petals birthed from thorns

I walked away
found a road
I should’ve known
I took the darkness
made bitterness my home
I am a rose
in thorns only this I know
I’m not a queen
worth innocence
in name or deed
I am the poison
in the tiniest of seeds
I’ve planted toxic
while kissing I find my own
a place like heaven
where I’d no longer be alone
my debts are many
but the price I will absolve
my time is plenty
all I’ve become and much
much more
I’ll bloom with color
burst these petals from
this thorn
I’m still quite deadly
but I know what I want more
I have roots growing
they push deeper
deeper than before
and I’ll grow bravely
brilliant and reassured
that heavens waiting
once I open up that door

Ants vs Wasps

We are not equal
not one in the same
you see the difference
is not as innate
as in skin color, or
the way that you pray
the difference is in
how you get paid
you’ve got the bling bling
I’ve got the pain.
We are not equal
not one in the same
you can afford the lies
on display
you don’t know the difference
living day to day
you don’t know the meaning
of living just for pay
you don’t know the meaning
of working poor or debt
you don’t know the truth
behind your politics.