Too soon

Got me on a leash
problems I don’t need
advice I’ll never heed
please don’t take my sugar away
let me have a little taste
I just want a birthday cake
got me on a choke collar
leading me like a dog to water
cannot drink for fear of relapse
let me go the truth is unlatched
please don’t take my fruit and phone
leave me just the fuck alone
got me on a thin red line
cutting tight rope bleeds my thighs
I just want to walk alone
keep my freedom learn to grow
but you got me on a lead
a leash that chokes when I sleep
let me go but then you do
I don’t think I’ll wake too soon

The bad joke

I’m just a joke baby
a thing you make to breathe
the kind of girl you dreamed up last night
I know what I am
yes I know what you planned
the night you bought me for cheap
they would have given me for free
it’s just another night in your cold arms
this kind of love is doing me harm
I’m tangled in your web
you got my soul
my head
you got the life I breathe
you know I mean something
but only to you
only to you do I have value
I’d killed myself if I knew how to bleed
I don’t think you really understand me
I know what I am
and I know what you planned
and I disagree
you don’t got what I need
you thought you’d hold me up
keep me in your cuffs
drinking from your cup
like I love this stuff
oh baby you don’t know me
but you will see
I’m gonna burn it all
gonna make you fall
it’s just another cold night
you can hold me real tight
and when I say goodbye
you’ll know you won’t wake again

I said, you said

You said you couldn’t
I said you shouldn’t
then you did
got caught up
torn apart
and left for dead
said you lost your head
said you need to go to bed
I said you shouldn’t
told you I wouldn’t recommend
you said you couldn’t
then you did it once again
and I said baby
you should’ve learned this lesson well
and now it’s over
sending you straight back to hell
you said you shouldn’t
I shot you right back down to earth
I said you shouldn’t
but you never really learned
and now it’s over
you shouldn’t be surprised
that it still hurts

Up the walls

I’m taking it for granted
watching appreciation fade
not knowing where I’m going
losing my well brain
the stable isn’t real now
not going to take control
I’m taking it for granted
how slowly the sickness grows
always here but rising
rising until it falls
hit the ground again
watching colored lights
climb up the walls

Velvet

Everything is velvet
when in control you’ll see
when you have the temperament
to say it’s mine and seize
take more than what’s been given
and wear those pearls to sleep
sheets all made of satin
the good stuff underneath
when you command the riches
when you have all control
everything is sugar
the world your’s too unfold

Dread

I dread the moment you come back again
try to get back in my head
where you can chain me to your ways
make me you in this flesh I tamed
I dread the day I must fight for me
to remain a solitary identity
where I control just how I breathe
keep you out of this flesh of me
I dread the day you knock on my door
that I may flee into the floor
pretend I have never once existed
but then I think it’s the fear I’ll miss it
miss my chance to destroy my keeper
keep you out of my head forever
you can’t chain me when you’re dead
you can no longer live in my head
I dread the day we say goodbye
that I might feel more sadness inside
even though I know it’s better
I fear I’ll mourn you now and forever

Burning roses

I’m burning roses now
and I ain’t coming down
got no dollar bills
but I’m floating proud
people be looking at me
like I’m so damn lost
but these dreams are happening
no matter the cost
I got my own pen in my hand now
and a voice that I’m using
gonna make my own way
and I’m never pursuing
the past that undid me
when I was living my life
everybody was saying
I was doing it right
had everything wrapped up
in a nice little bow
all my fucking chaos
yeah that shit explode
I can’t do nine to five now
my degree don’t mean nothing
I’m living the life now
that makes me feel something
I’m burning the garden
and feeling so good
you thought that you controlled me
I think you misunderstood
you never did see me
but you took all I had
left me with bad credit
and no fucking cash
had a nervous breakdown
but now I’m not even sad
I’m writing the next chapter
I’m changing the story
you took all I had even the glory
so now I’m crawling upwards
from this dirty floor
everybody might be talking mess
but I’m aiming to soar

My name is Gatsby

Mock me baby
let me believe
anything at all
that you want me to think
fool me honey
make me walk on my knees
just take what you need
because I want to believe
make me into someone else
a little trinket on your shelf
bury me in lies and bitters
call me by the name you figure
I just want to be so good
the promising child you deliver
mock me like I’m a living joke
a punchline that you’d love to choke
kill me as though I am free
as a cult member let me be
I will follow lies and missteps
find myself used and dismissed as
as anything you’d truly love
but I fooled myself so I have won
let me thank you for my lashings
mock me baby
my name is Gatsby

Wake me when I’m not dreaming

Wetter and wetter
between the thighs
growing impulse
something isn’t right
got another dripping
down the side
this is just another
nine to five
wetter, ever wetter
my oh my
I’m about to eat candy
midnight delight