From afar

It looks so good from far away
I look so right no signs of grey
I take my time
just another dame
another girl who don’t look your way
it looks so good but then you get close
see the cracks and see the smoke
but you pretend it’s all okay
better with what the eyes don’t make
you see it all and it’s so broken
it looked so good but now I’ve spoken
everything not what you think
from afar don’t know its me

Just want to sleep

I just want to sleep
so tired don’t want to eat
lurking underneath my bed
I keep myself there instead
the sheets they are my covers
transparent I discover
every dream is broken
shattered from the smoke
and every time it breaks
we make ten more mistakes
I just want to sleep
sleep and never weep
the dreams won’t come again
I’m lost and dead my friend

Reality makes

I don’t want dreams
I don’t want things
all that I crave is up sleep
chain me uneven
break me when not needed
keep calling back to you
for reasons
I don’t want nice things
I don’t like pleasant dreams
I just want death to
be kind to me
keep me ever on the rope
tighten my grip on hope
never really let me go
I’m already insane
I don’t want to sleep here
no more dreams near
left for the rear mirror
to see the shadow standing still
keep me out and then fulfill
everything I never asked for
hollowed down and out more
I don’t want no dreams or things
nice enough or broken dreams
I just want the truth today
tell me what reality makes

Discovery

I am in discovery
broken like the mend
bending over backwards
always drinking in the head
I am lost in firelight
burned by what is bitter
likened to the wisest
ever drunk now off the cinders
I am in discovery
breaking from the free
keep myself in bondage
until the end will come to me
bending over backwards
dying by the feet
hang me in the silence
broken by the sea

Token

Broken
so often token
lost in a sea of gold
I’ve been on both sides darling
but I don’t think that you know
I got my lace dress on
and I got that heart that shines
you think I’m made from nothing
you got tears in your eyes
I’ve been out in the dust cloud
I’ve weathered plenty of storms
here in your garden honey
I know my worth is torn
I’ve been the token body
poor girl that’s given more
I got lost in the diamonds
thought I could make the grade
but when you cut the cards baby
I’m the one that don’t get play
broken so often token
lost in that sea of gold
oh man my number’s spoken
you got the worth I don’t

On this cross

It’s too late to forget
not enough time left to deal with it
got to jump stones and drain rivers
find myself while making dinner
it’s too late to forget it now
to lose the thought
keep my head in the clouds
like windows stained red from wine on the floor
the sun keeps on shining burning for more
it’s too late to forget what you said yesterday
it’s too late to forgive the chances you didn’t take
it’s too late and it’s done now
all but once lost
you find yourself broken
left on this cross

Much

Too much sugar in my cup
can’t drink sugar it’s too much
broken teeth and sour brain
the tongue it hurts
taste buds’ blades
too much sweet not enough bitter
I need hate to keep me chipper
can’t drink now it’s far too hot
too much sugar in my cup
not enough liquid not enough luck
everything in plenty
everything in black
too much sugar drinking
too much happiness in drag

So many wrongs don’t right

I’ve been wrong so many times before
blocked myself from going out the door
kept on thinking till my thoughts hurt
lost in the concrete can’t touch earth
drunk off the sediment
drunk off the waste
losing yourself in the display case
like a trophy of iron breaking the shelf
I’ve been caught up been lost to the self
drunk off the ground I find myself in
the coolness of gravel baked into skin
the feeling is breathless
It’s often not good
too drunk off of weakness
too often misunderstood

Under feet

There is no reason
no one can feel
I don’t have the answers
I don’t have the real
the truth beneath the river
the fire in the sky
there is no reason I can feel
numbness becomes all too real
the drowning burning in the sky
no reason to feel
the absence of light
the truth beneath the river
the water underneath
and everything is broken
underneath your feet