Leave the light on

They leave the light on
cannot tell you what they think
they cry for hours
even when they’re fast asleep
they never tire
they never grow quite used to this
they leave the light on
but they’re always stuck inside the abyss
the darkness consumes
eats them up before it’s over
they leave the light
hope they’ll see it over their shoulder
but it’s black here
the darkness all but overwhelming
they leave the light on
it’s always there for the taking

Doves and blue birds

Birds open a window pane
words that kill before they maime
wonderful we thought at once
broken down no time to trust
in the meadows blue birds call
falling from the trees they’re gone
birds that fly and flee astray
lost upon a window pane
heard the voices
heard the doves
I don’t love it it’s not enough
words that silence all of us
birds they flutter than they fly
don’t know how to sleep tonight

Choke it down

Don’t know what I’m doing here
how to breathe the smoke in clear
how to use this map I’ve found
how to avoid the big crowds
don’t know why I’ve come here now
standing in the center ground
don’t know why I’m here at all
just want the whole sky to fall
hit my head and have me drown
in the smoke I’ll choke it down

Isolation

Sitting in this isolation
don’t know how my mind will take it
will I sit and learn to enjoy
this isolation that I’ve employed
or will I go just simply crazy
put myself out with the daisies
wonder why the world went hazy
sitting in this room alone
I wonder how much I can zone
can I sit without a thought
or will I find myself distraught
will I pick out eyes like flowers
burn myself to pass the hours

The slow break

I’m sick and twisted
over moderately disturbed
but when you miss it
you’ll just make it worse
don’t dismiss it
just sit and listen
if you can’t hear me
then just get lost
because every single second
is a second cost
and every single moment
I remember it all
mind will play its tricks you see
I will remember everything
but nothing is what it seems
no, I can see what’s happening
I am sick
my mind is twisted
part of why
I can’t feel this love
it is gone as I am ill
one day soon I’ll know
how loss feels

Continue

I just wanna escape
don’t want to think too much
just wanna play all day
forget the junk I have to do
just want to get myself through
don’t know the truth
drive through the night
all in my mind
thinking too damn high
I’m just stuck
just wanna escape
I’m too tired to
I just want to get through
want it all to be done
so I can continue

Almost free

I don’t want to hear it
not like this again
I don’t want to speak the words
screaming loudly in my head
I don’t want to be like this
forever and a day
to cry myself to sleep
while drowning in the rain
I don’t want to hear it
not like this right now
I just want to let go
accept this living hell
know that in the end
I made choices just for me
all of them quite bad
but I made them almost free

Off the floor

I don’t feel good
no not today
well again
like yesterday
maybe better
probably worse
I don’t feel good
no not today
I guess it’s just like
any other day
I don’t feel good
don’t want to eat
I just keep thinking
I should go to sleep
used to be able
to get out of bed
but today I don’t feel good
like I’ve already said
just like yesterday
and maybe before
I just don’t feel good
anywhere off the floor

Day by day

I’m not getting better
I just keep getting worse
here I am just tethered
to another verse
a song to sing so sweetly
that never goes away
it’s burrowed under skin
infected all my brain
I can’t keep from drowning
in the open air
I can’t keep from dying
I’m pulling out my hair
as everybody watches
enjoys the slow decay
I’m not getting better
just living day by day

Future desires

I find myself still wanting
still fearing in the night
so scared of what tomorrow brings
drunken off this fright
my soul feels everlasting
though I might die tonight
I find myself always wanting
always dreaming of this plight
the fight for immortality
for living past my death
to know what will become of me
when I finally lay to rest