Almost free

I don’t want to hear it
not like this again
I don’t want to speak the words
screaming loudly in my head
I don’t want to be like this
forever and a day
to cry myself to sleep
while drowning in the rain
I don’t want to hear it
not like this right now
I just want to let go
accept this living hell
know that in the end
I made choices just for me
all of them quite bad
but I made them almost free