Survival instinct

I don’t want to mention
the evil in intentions
when you giving you yourself to play
who sold you a false sense of dignity
a monster who has yet ever had to pay
for crimes they commit and admit today
for a piece of every person
only wants to excuse
every single bad behavior
that resulted in abuse
for drugging and then robbing
men who you lied to
so you asked them if they wanted it
took it like survival
but you ain’t no Mike Tyson
you just living without trial
admit it like Polanski
and act like its okay
don’t matter what your reasons
your intent was to drug’em and get paid.

Inside Lovato and the bad life coach

I am an artist,
an entrepreneur-
I’m creative
a fucking gift to the world.
I got ideas
and I show my tits on stage.
I feign authenticity
but make excuses out of pain.
I use my illness
and my addictions as a shield.
I use sobriety
as a theme to get a meal-
I am an artist
a philanthropist and more
I’ve got bipolar
and I wield it like a sword.
I’m not recovered
as that takes time and room to heal,
I am just a child
who doesn’t know what it means
to be real.
I’m just a celebrity,
adding titles to my name-
buying indulgences in vain,
and pretending mental illness is a game.
I am an artist
but that’s just an excuse
for being a child, for being rude
for being ill and relapsing too
I’m just too young to accept the truth,
it’s still my fault, but it’s also youth.

Retribution

Set fire to his soul
make sure he’s getting old
the cold mortality
of living with one’s deeds
never speak again
we’ve taken both his lips
leave the eyes alone
we’ll take his ears and nose
he’ll scream before he goes
reality setting in
he’ll never breathe again

Absorbed

Lately I’ve become
a monster in the sun
all my battles won
when darkness fled.
Lately I’ve retired
all excuses required
to hide away from self
and all I’ve done.
Lately I’ve aspired
higher than before
my dreams on fire
when all darkness is
absorbed.

The time to process morning coffee

When do you say stop?
Do you hesitate
beyond the sweet spot-
too much sugar
or not enough?

How long before
you say when?
Do you expect
to be asked again
or do you just pray
you open your lips?
When you don’t-
how do you deal with this?

How long before you say
no
will you speak or
can you reap what you sow?
Who is responsible
when nobody moves
the evil stays the same
but you refuse to choose
the ultimate undoing
is in the past you can’t
redo.