*** This is my third attempt at telling this story not totally sure if I like this or not yet….
She sits there staring at her coffee, more like mud, the waitress warned her it’d be like that but she didn’t want to wait for another pot to be brewed. “I’ll be drinking more then this, I just need something now.” she smiled weakly thin lips cracking as she speaks. The tall blonde beauty couldn’t smile, wouldn’t, at least that’s what it looks like from the moment she walked in she looked about ready to collapse. The waitress brought her the cup without another word, looking into those eyes, maybe she saw how desperately she needed it needed something. Maybe she saw another junkie prostitute who’d tip her in pennies and leave a greasy bill behind her. Who knows.
Staring, meditating in the mud, the girl barely breathes. She looks like she’s been through war, the kind of war where you look the enemy in the eye before you take their life, the kind of war a video game can’t quiet capture. Her grey eyes are dull filled with lifeless tears and held up by dark bags as if she hadn’t slept in years, maybe the waitress is right, maybe she’s a junkie. Her hair is long and stringy pulled back tight but unkept, untouched for days. Skin dry and pale like old porcelain the kind that gets forgotten, lost in the attic with all the other trash. The kind of thin a model would envy still perfect even though she wants it to decay, oh her perfection even through the dust is apparent. She is Venus, if only she was. No, this girl, this beautiful broken girl she belongs to another deity and as she sits staring into her cooling mug they are coming for her.
A guy comes over to her all smiles and concern, he isn’t thinking of fucking her, but something is telling him he has to know her. Save her. That irresistible pull or push that drives us to places we never knew we wanted to go had a tight grip on him and as he makes his way to her stumbling into her booth he knows he would rather die then miss out on this opportunity. “Hey there! I saw that-that you were alone and figured so am I! Heh… and thought maybe you’d want some company.” against his will the friendly little smile he attempts turns into a show of teeth and gum. She looks up making no attempt to answer him just watching his eyes as they tremble ever so slightly “Uh… my names Conner, what about you?” he isn’t done yet not by a long shot but his body is screaming humiliation desperately wanting to be away from this wondrous woman before he is no longer a man.
“I don’t have a lot of time, its 50 bucks, maybe less if you’re quick.” her lips barely move her eyes drifting to the side. He’s dumbfounded, and she of course is serious. 50 for a fuck, less if he’s quick.
“Woah… wait… what? Woah no no no no!” he stands arms in the air looking around as if it was a bust “I-I-I just really only wanted to just talk. TAAAALK. That’s it.” Conner laughs nervously thinking about just walking away but ends up back in the booth without really knowing why. That pulls a bitch.
“I’m not holding, I got nothing, if your trying to push I’m not interested. “ she says mindlessly having had this conversation before, thinking him just another one in a million. She really could have used that 50, damn it.
“Holding? Holding wh-oh No. No. No. No, really I wanted to talk to you. Just Talk.” he is really out of his element here. No clue who or what this girl is. His heart telling him to talk, his mind to run, his cock to pull out 50 and take her to the bathroom, choices, choices, choices.
“Talk?” New concepts are always a tad confusing “Why?” her eyes narrow like a hawk and she prepares for the worse. Who the fuck just talks anymore, anyway?
“Yeah, like have a conversation?” he laughs this time for real, a nice hearty laugh, would warm a normal person.
“You looked like someone I should know.” smiling he continues hoping his next words wont be his last “and I-I figured we were both alone at… um 2 am in a crappy diner… why the hell not?” talking with his hands in hopes of gaining her favor, for reasons unknown.
“What if I came here to be alone.” she speaks the truth. No one could want solitude more then this girl.
“What if I did too?”
“Then you should be alone. Where you were. Over there.”
Conner smiles. Success. “You noticed me” eye brows rise with his grin “Now that’s something there. Noticing the poor sap all alone at the other end of the diner. I think its fate.”
“Fate? What would you know about fate?” she sneers she knows too much.
“What don’t I know? That’s the question really, but first answer mine. What’s your name?”
“Conner, nice to meet you Satine. So what are you running from?” Oh this guy is hitting a nerve now.
“Running from?” she breathes she’s wondering how blind she’s really become.
“Well yeah, you’re at a diner in the middle of no where at…” looking at his watch “ 2:34. There’s either something you’re trying to get away from or you’ve got killer munchies. Which is it, Satine?’ he smirks as her eyes cloud she’s been waiting for this moment and she didn’t even know.
“Running I guess… no munchies… not tonight anyway.” she attempts a joke but fails to even make herself laugh. Her mouth dries with the very desire of speech, she’s thirsty desperately thirsty for words, and the Gods have blessed her with a chance. Perhaps? Maybe not. Maybe, they are laughing at her, spiting her for her allegiance. Or maybe, maybe its just a coincidence. Who cares, right?
His eyes are soft and he’s ready to hear anything “Running from what?” looking at this magnificent woman all he knows, all he can think, is that he wants to be here to help her. Just from looking at her anyone can tell she needs help.
Shifting uncomfortable the words begin to struggle in her throat she isn’t willing to speak no she’s trying to keep her mouth shut but they are clawing their way out “I guess… you can say I’m running from family.” the moment the words leave her lips she knows she’s already lost it. “I’m not running very well though, you see, and I’ve given up on the whole thing.”
“I know what you mean, the running thing I guess… and the family thing to some small extent maybe.” he’s thinking of his own problems but they were fading this isn’t about him and sometimes when you least expect to forget yourself you do. The mind is funny like that.
“You’ve no clue. Not one.”
It stings him makes his heart throb, how could she know? But he moves on he wants to know “So give me one, or all of them…” shrugging he adds “We’ve got nothing better to do, right?” laughing loudly and unexpectedly shocking the other patrons not to mention Satine.
She’s shaking her head trying to keep it in but the beast is laughing now. The power within her begins to simmer bones deep she’d been avoiding her Mother for too long and the beast wanted out even if it was just words. And maybe she finally sees it, this is the way its meant to be, this is how she finally checks out of the game. No more cat and mouse. The mouse gives up and this is the white flag moment she’s been waiting for. “Let them come then.” she whispers to herself looking up at the fragile Conner who sits naked before her. She could do anything to him if she wanted, but all she is going to do is talk.
“Never mind that. You want a clue? You want it all?”
He’s scared now something is different with her, darker, threatening, she isn’t helpless. Never was. Swallowing hard he manages a “yes.”
“Its going to be a long night” the waitress comes to the table “more coffee and some onion rings.” She’s not even looking at her, her attention is completely focused on Conner but the waitress smiles grimly thinking this is his payment for the sullen little prostitute. “What would you give to stop running?”
“Anything I guess…” he mumbles scared at what’s to come but transfixed nonetheless.
“Heh… exactly what you end up giving. Everything.” the waitress comes back fills up their mugs and drops off fresh cream and sugar packets Satine smiles this time brightly lighting up the dark dank diner. The woman stumbles away taken aback by what she sees. “When I was younger, real young like two or three I was taken from my parents. Crack addicts they use to leave me in my crib soiled and starving, least to say it was the ideal childhood home. So child welfare came into the mix and I got taken. But it wasn‘t really much better, maybe I was fed more frequently, maybe the house wasn‘t filled with flies, maggots and the like but the crack house seems safer to me now.” anger’s rising in her veins making her blood boil with unquenchable rage.
“I’m-m sor-” Conner begins but she interrupts.
“You want a story, right? Don’t interrupt then. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. If I’m too blunt I can sugar coat for you.” her tongue is growing sharper and it’s the beast, but that’s not in her control she just wants all of it out.
“No I’m sorry I’ll listen and be as blunt as possible.” Afraid as he is he wont be pushed away he wants to be there, right there. He wants to sit forever and listen to her beautiful voice, but moreover he wants her words, needs them.
“Alright then. Well my parents might have been forgetful druggies neglectful of my necessary life needs, but they never as far as I was told tried to fuck me. Some of the houses looked like the Brady’s but most even the Brady homes were hell. As you might be able to imagine going from one hell to another all I ever wanted was a real family. The kind of family you see on T.V. Around twelve right around the time I started puberty as it always is I started having dreams about a family, a beautiful Mother, her sweet voice and promise after promise. She would take the pain away. Make me beautiful, strong, powerful so that no one could ever harm me again. She’d make me perfect just like her. I’d never go hungry, be afraid, be lonely again. While I was dreaming these wonderful things I was safe, when I’d wake up I was in hell. So I started cutting, and drinking, smoking. Anything to dull the pain. Did that for four years I met Hector around then. He was a dream during the day. He’d get me high, he taught me to fight, to steal, to lie. When I was with him I wasn’t a weak little girl, a victim. When we ended up in houses together, which happened to often to be normal, no one would touch me. She said she sent him that I only had to wait a bit longer then all would be okay. I fell in love with the voice in my dreams, like I think a child falls in love with a parent, and I fell in love with Hector. I was sixteen when he revealed his dreams, the same dreams. It was fate. Fate’s a bitch of player. You never see her game until its done I guess.” Her eyes are overflowing now the beast quelled for a moment with the memory of love, love for someone other then Her, love that was not planned. Satine is right Fate is a terrible mistress, a slut really her scent is on the worlds fingers and no one knows it but her. “I was running to anything that made me feel in the least. I was a piece of flesh being passed around until they came. Conner, what would you give for beauty, power and wealth? For a family and everything you’ve ever wanted? What would you give for the perfect life?” crying she sips her coffee and smiles.
What would you give?