Finding me

I thought I loved you
then I walked further on outside
I saw the real sun
the kind you can’t hide when it’s this bright
I thought I knew trust
like it was something we just do
like, I like this person so I trust them that’s the truth
but it’s not true
I never trust a single body
I never let them in though they thought I did
never spoke the truth to nobody
I thought they loved me
made excuses every damn day
why’d they forget me
why didn’t they invite me to stay
I thought you trusted me
that I was the dramatic one
saying you only come around when you need something
that’s for sure
you only came around when you needed me
to do what no one else would get done
I thought we were more
lovers and friends alike
but I got played hard
and at the very end of the night I walk home alone
don’t get no call in the morning, no
I just walk on alone
and realize I never felt anything close to love
because I never trusted you
nor did I really have respect
you thought you knew me
but you haven’t learned a damn thing yet
and now it’s over
so neither of us will know
what really went on here
I guess we’re just footprints in the snow
I thought I loved you
but I was too guarded to see
that I didn’t need you I just needed somebody
something to cling to
while I was desperately finding me.

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