I am Columbia

“Welcome back!” Cindy Owens smiles through the cameras “we were just talking about the big, big, big, big-big, big story of maybe the century!” the crowd is going wild “and you know I got the footage!” leaning forward mouth and eyes wide she let’s out a “HA!” the audience roars now out of the seats “okay, okay, let me finish everyone” her voice like butter, smile ear to ear, and that I’m not from Texas Texas hair ever so Texas. “Good Samaritan’s are what the news has dubbed them” audience gasp  “ladies and gentlemen tonight we have footage of two of these” air quotes as the crowd is silent “‘good Samaritans’ special, only here on the Cindy Owens show” the audience again erupts as she demures only slightly then with a quick cock of her head ” alright let’s watch!”

The screen behind our host shows an empty street, midtown in the Marina District to be exact. Nothing. Then the click clack of heels-
“Slow it here!” Cindy shouts turning to the audience as old friends over to watch a film “Alpha everyone!” for a moment the crowd vibrates with hushed glee before she signals to continue rolling.
Alpha stops short turning swiftly around, she’s being chased. Taking up the left half of the screen Alpha stands high heel clad and fierce in spotted regalia looking like the Jane Tarzan wished he had. She looks confused. “Stooooop!” two women make the scene one covered in red, white, and blue star spangled and oh so out of date, the other in gold hot pants, tube top and boots looking like a discos wet dream. “Stop right there” the patriotic cutie is breathless.
“I’m not moving” Alpha sighs obliviously disappointed.
“Don’t get mouthy!” miss breathless screams raising her finger “tonight your reign of terror ends! Alpha you are under citizens arrest under clause 2.007-”
Our golden black beauty fights a laugh as our hyena’s jaw drops “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…”
“What no… you-you’re coming with meh-eh!?” she shrieks as Alpha sprints away yelling
“find me when you grow up!”
“Come back!” her would be captor screams moving to run but her foot catches hem and face catches concrete. Head spinning she continues ” I am Columbia!”
Her friend lifts her from the ground “yeah, yeah girl you’re Columbia alright.” her voice smooth as she dust off Lady Liberties former who looks sadly up at her “next time a little more physical?”

The screen blinks black and the crowd looks too Cindy for a reaction “well” looks like she was promised blood too “that’s just craziness!” out of her chair she runs to the audience who find themselves in an uncertain frenzy “what do you think about our vero Alpha” she picks a young brunette woman who shakes wildly with excitement-big Owens fan.
“Omg! She’s so cool, but, but I don’t know the Samaritan’s protect the law right? That’s good.” as the crowd buzzes with nervous uncertainty.
Cindy smiles and takes the mic moving to a middle age man ” and you sir, team vero or…?”
The man is urban through and through the girls with him young and well adorned he smiles wide with platinum teeth “team vero! I know that Alpha is one bad bitch, but the Samaritan got the colors of the dark ages on man. And you know I don’t want none of my bitches taking up in no filthy sewers! Never again y’all! ” with that Cindy shouts and prances back to her throne. The audience cheers for their team now dancing to the end of show music “well team vero or Samaritan our audience seems to have decided, I don’t know, can’t say, but I hope you’ll tune in tomorrow night to continue this discussion. I’m Cindy Owens, goodnight Liberation Land.”

 

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